You won't believe it, but there are people who actually can't wait until the workweek ends.
"Thank God It's Friday" — "TGIF" to its friends — is the battle cry of these misguided miscreants who count the minutes until the 5 p.m. whistle blows and the weekend begins.
How could anyone prefer two days of freedom to the pure joy of five grueling days shackled to your desk, wrestling with impossible deadlines, unreasonable bosses and unappetizing co-workers?
Yes, these deluded denizens of the workforce love themselves some Fridays. They also hate themselves some Sundays. While normal people spend Sunday happily ticking off the hours until they can stop binge-watching trifle challenges on "The Great British Baking Show" and go back to work, the haters spend Sundays counting — and dreading — the very same hours.
"76 Percent of American Workers Say They Get the 'Sunday Night Blues,'" is the title of a recent tidbit of career advice from Vicki Salemi on Monster.com.
As Salemi explains, "in theory the whole weekend should be your time, but most Americans spend their final 24 hours fretting about their jobs."
According to Monster, the 76 percent define the Sunday blues as "depression over the fact that one night's sleep stands between you and a new workweek."
Fortunately for the Sunday sufferers, Salemi offers five suggestions for how to turn that Sunday-night frown upside-down. If you're one of the weirdos who gets the Sunday blues, here's the cure:
1. Don't check work email.
"The more you refrain from checking-in," writes Salemi, "the more refreshed you'll feel on Monday morning." If you absolutely must check email, "limit yourself to no more than an hour."
In my opinion, this is not nearly enough time.
Going beyond the thrill of redlining your blood pressure, there is one very important reason to spend Sunday carefully checking every message in your inbox. You need to make you sure management has not attended a weekend spa retreat and decided that the best way to enhance the feng shui at the office is to fire your sorry butt. You can't argue with their conclusion, but if you're going to be spending Monday at the unemployment office, you'll want to pack a lunch.
2. Identify the triggers.
"Is it your boss?" Salemi asks. "An intense workload? A toxic environment?" The theory here is that if you can identify your stressors, you will be better equipped to deal with them. This is true. You've got so many stressors that simply making a list will keep you so aggravated all weekend long, you won't be able to get back to work fast enough.
3. Review your wins.
You are advised to fight Sunday-itis by keeping "a running list of accomplishments, however small, as well as recognition from your colleagues." Since you get no recognition and have no accomplishments, you should spend Sunday keeping a running list of your failures, boo-boos and blunders. That will inspire you start every Monday with an exciting new challenge — how many more failures, boo-boos and blunders can you make before being unceremoniously canned.
4. Schedule something for Sunday night.
Improve your work-life balance by spending Sunday with "family and friends, exercise and healthy eating right up through the end of the weekend to distract you from the blues." This could work. If going to work on Monday means you don't have to exercise, or eat healthy or spend time with your sister-in-law, you'll be the first one in the office on Monday morning.
5. Look for a new job.
Being a job site, Monster thinks getting a new job is the solution to everything from the Sunday night blues to psoriasis. "If you're truly unhappy in your current position," Salemi writes, " create an action plan to network and find a new job that will make you happy — every day of the week."
Give it a try.
Join a professional organizations and service clubs. Because you never know where your next job opportunity will come from, go beyond the your college alumni association and Toastmasters to include the Hell's Angels and The Insane Clown Posse. (Print your resume on horsehide. Things can get a little rough when Juggalos and Juggalettes get together for a job fair.)
Make finding your new weekday job your new weekend job. Network relentlessly from Friday night to Sunday. You probably won't get a new job, but it will sure make your weekends so miserable that Mondays at your old job will look a whole lot better.
Bob Goldman was an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company, but he finally wised up and opened Bob Goldman Financial Planning in Sausalito, California. He now works out of Bellingham, Washington. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at [email protected] To find out more about Bob Goldman, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate webpage at www.creators.com.