Congratulations!

The first two months of 2023 are almost over, and you still have your job. Or, maybe, you don't. No question, the master chefs in the executive suite have their Ginsu Knives out. They're ready to start slicing and dicing.

De-acquisitioning big chunks of their workforce is definitely the plat du jour in the world of high tech, where once workers were considered so valuable that they were showered with free showers, not to mention free lunches, free dinners and free Pepto in between. The only perk missing was a free lobotomy for any employee suffering from the delusion that their ginormous salaries were guaranteed for life.

High-, low- or no-tech, anyone still clinging to a job does face a future that is looking bleak. If you're working remotely, your boss may order you back into the office. Or, if you're in the office, management may decide to move you to another location, like an underground bunker, where your nearest neighbors are a colony of naked mole rats.

But don't be depressed. If it looks like 2023 is a disaster in the making, there's still one way to make it even worse: Start trying to make it better.

Making it better is what Washington Post writer Danielle Abril had in mind when she wrote "Work Reset: 13 tips to make your job less stressful this year."

We don't have the space or the energy for all 13, but here are seven to compare and contrast and ignore.

No. 1: Reestablish your boundaries

With nonstop, digital billet-doux arriving 24/7 on your phone, your computer and your Instant Pot, it's time to draw a line in the sand. It's what you must do if you want to have a life, and a perfectly cooked brisket.

No. 2: Assess your priorities

Finishing a sales report or developing a marketing strategy may be top priorities for your corporate overlords, but as a sensitive, highly evolved human person, work assignments pale in importance when compared to your need to keep up with major cultural events, like bingeing "Naked and Afraid of Love."

Explain to management that your work product will be nonexistent until you see if Gwen G. and Joshua B. can find love and underwear.

No. 3: Communicate intentions

According to experts, you need to "make your communications and intentions for the year known." This is best done in a large meeting in which you jump to your feet to scream, "2023 is the year of Me. I'm going to focus on becoming the best Me I can be, which means I'm going to need lots of Me-time and Me-space, and if you don't like it, Me don't care."

You may not become the Me you want to be by the end of 2023, but if you're loud enough and scary enough, everyone will leave you blissfully alone while you try.

No. 4: Evaluate your productivity

"It turns out most people could eliminate 25% of what they do without any impact on productivity," says management professor Harry Kraemer. But why stop there? If eliminating 25% is good, eliminating 50% is better and eliminating 100% is best. You won't get anything done, but if you eliminate all the mistakes you would have made doing what you should have been doing, everybody comes out ahead.

No. 5: Leverage digital tools

In 2023, resolve to use technology to help you instead of crush you. Save time by crafting one email reply that will work in all situations, like "Thank you for getting in touch. Even though it's definitely not my fault, I'm sorry about what happened and I promise it will never happen again. (P.S. Did I mention it was definitely not my fault?)"

No. 6: Reconnect with people

Remind your professional network that you are still alive and kicking. (And if not kicking, at least convulsing.) Let everyone know you are totally happy with your current position, but if they hear of any job opening, at any salary, you're ready to move. If no one has a job for you, a good way to test the loyalty of long-lost friends and co-workers is to ask to borrow money. If those losers can't come up with the Benjamins, get out your contact list and hit delete.

No. 7: Update your resume

Add your recent accomplishments. Don't have any? How about "surviving"?

Remember: it never hurts to have an updated resume ready, but, really, you have nothing to worry about.

You can always get a job with the naked mole rats.

Bob Goldman was an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at [email protected]. To find out more about Bob Goldman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Henning_W at Pixabay