It's inevitable.

Sooner or later, you're going back to working at work. Or maybe you've already been evicted from your cozy home office. Either way, the question remains the same: What will happen to the workspace you left behind?

Will your kitchen table, the site of a thousand Zoom meetings, now stand silent from 9 to 5, once a platform for high-tech busines communication now tragically transformed into a platform for your morning oatmeal? Will your living room couch, host for so many business-building ideation sessions (aka naps) now sit empty, earning for you not one cent while it quietly collects dirt, dust and weevils?

It's sad, but it isn't hopeless.

With a little cooperation from Breather Products, Inc., your empty home office can now be rented to companies looking for temporary workspace. Think of it as the Airbnb for the worst vacations ever.

If you hustle over to Breather.com, you will quickly understand the kind of cold and impersonal office space on offer. There are vast vistas of industrial carpet, hordes of imitation Aeron chairs, and the kind of generic conference tables around which you can be sure nothing good is ever discussed. The colors are muted. The atmosphere is toxic.

Just the way business wants it. But it's not the way it has to be.

Because Breather depends on independent property owners to provide the workspaces it offers, I don't see any reason why your home office can't be listed, too. And if you think it will be difficult to stand out on a site listing thousands of square feet of soulless office space, remember that what makes your property so much better than anything in a high-rise tower or a low-slung office park is that your office space has personality. Dying house plants, mismatched china, tattered carpets, dusty Hummel figurines, weird action figures of grade-D superheroes, framed photos of your dysfunctional family — they're all included at no extra cost.

Sounds like a million-dollar idea to me. And if Breather passes, I'm sure some smart IPO-bound company will snap it up.

Let me help you with some descriptive copy you can use for your listing:

EXECUTIVE OFFICE

This luxurious executive command post comes furnished with refrigerator, stove and a powerful garbage disposal, especially useful for surprise visits by authorities with warrants for hard drives. Lavishly scratched Ikea table exudes executive power. Complete with antique wooden chair ecologically sourced from a nearby street corner, it's the perfect communication nexus for the CEO who wants to divert attention from their ginormous salary and project a down-home image while still managing the sophisticated communication network required to run their multinational empire, assuming they can do so with one wall socket (two if you unplug the toaster oven.)

CONFERENCE ROOM

No reason to take the staff to an expensive resort for an off-site. Whether bringing in top management to discuss executive bonuses or meeting with team leaders to announce the mass firings required to pay for executive bonuses, this unique setting provides a homey atmosphere that will encourage out-of-the-box, into-the-toilet thinking. Furnished with one lumpy couch and three mismatched armchairs, the charming, thrift-store decor is offset by a ridiculously expensive TV, permanently programmed to the Syfy network.

EMPLOYEE CAFETERIA

See Executive Office.

EMPLOYEE LOUNGE

Your hardworking employees need a space to unwind. What could be more relaxing than a dark, cavelike space into which someone has managed to squeeze an extra-firm queen bed with a cozy just-slept-in vibe. (Note: the bed can be made for a modest extra fee.) Also included are more than two dozen stuffed animals employees can cuddle for the comfort they so desperately need.

EXECUTIVE SPA

Top managers can unwind in comfort in a gleaming gray therapy tub. Those stressed-out executive nerves will instantly relax with the invigorating massage provided by months of curated grime and grit. (Bath toys included for a modest extra fee.) Finish with a brisk, ice-cold shower, knowing you will remember this sensual spa experience as long as your complimentary foot fungus lingers.

Of course, if you'd like to keep your private space private, there's no reason you can't rent out extra space at your job. Your cubicle is certainly big enough to house another one or three hard workers.

After all, employers today are so desperate to hire they'll never notice that the people in your office are working for another company.

With a nice slice of the profits going to someone who really deserves the money: you.

Bob Goldman was an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at [email protected]. To find out more about Bob Goldman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: tookapic at Pixabay