Sleeping in may feel great, but getting up early for a good dose of morning light — sun or artificial — is apparently better for your body. A Northwestern University study says the natural synchronicity of internal body clocks with natural light-dark cycles tends to benefit health and waistlines.

Shorthand: If you want a slimmer waistline, don't linger in bed.

The researchers found that people who got up early, and thus had greater exposure to morning light, had lower body mass indexes than folks who slept later. They hypothesize that the early-light exposure plays a role in regulating metabolism. Animal studies have shown that disrupting natural light-dark cycles leads to weight gain.

They advised that people should seek bright lights between 8 a.m. and noon, and that 20 to 30 minutes of morning light was sufficient to affect BMI.

BODY OF KNOWLEDGE

A normal swallow takes eight to 12 seconds to move contents from mouth to stomach.

GET ME THAT. STAT!

Each year, more than 5 million Americans are bitten by an animal, the vast majority involving children and/or dogs, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. One in five dog bites results in injuries serious enough to require medical attention.

STORIES FOR THE WAITING ROOM

Psychologists at the University of Chicago say that night owls — men and women who tend to stay up late at night and sleep till late in the morning — are more likely to be single or in short-term romantic relationships than early birds.

The researchers found that night owl-types tended to have higher levels of cortisol, a stress hormone, and were more predisposed to take risks, which apparently works well in terms of career success, but maybe not so much for maintaining long-term relationships.

DOC TALK

Diplopia — double vision

PHOBIA OF THE WEEK

Atychiphobia — fear of failure

NEVER SAY DIET

The Major League Eating speed-eating record for flautas is 65 in 10 minutes, held by Ben Monson, openly, uh, "flauting" all notions of gustatory moderation.

BEST MEDICINE

A man goes to the doctor and complains that his wife can't hear him.

"How bad is it?" asks his doctor.

"I have no idea," replies the husband.

"OK, do this test," says the doctor. "Stand 20 feet away from her and say something. If she doesn't hear you, get closer and say the same thing. Keep moving closer and closer, repeating the comment until she does hear you. That way we'll have an idea of her range of hearing loss."

The man goes home, sees his wife in the kitchen chopping vegetables for dinner. From 20 feet away, he says, "What's for dinner?" No response. From 10 feet, he repeats the question with no answer. From five feet, the same thing. Finally, he's standing right behind her: "What's for dinner?"

The wife turns, looks at him and says, "For the fourth time, beef stew."

LAST WORDS

"I am dying. It's a long time since I drank champagne." — Russian physician and dramaturge Anton Chekhov (1860-1904), upon being given a glass of bubbly on his deathbed.

To find out more about Scott LaFee and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.