DR. WALLACE: I'm 15, and I really need your advice. I'm really in love, but I don't know what to do about it. Last year, many of my high school friends told me that a guy liked me. I waited all school year for him to talk to me, but he didn't say one word to me. Once school started again this fall, all of this started over again.
I discuss things with my mom, and she told me to be a little assertive and talk with him and tell him that I heard that he really liked me and that I like him, too. This sounded good, but it turned out to be a disaster. Yesterday, I walked up to him when he was with one of his friends and told him that I heard that he liked me. I was shocked when he told me that I was mistaken and that he didn't even know who I was. I glanced down at his notebook and my name was written all over it.
All I could say was that I was sorry for the mix-up and that it wouldn't happen again. I was so embarrassed that I almost cried — but I didn't. What should I do now? I still really like him, of course. — Anonymous, via email
ANONYMOUS: Do nothing for the time being. It's obvious that the young man likes you, but when he came face to face with you, he didn't have the "courage" to admit it, probably because you caught him off guard. It also didn't help matters that his friend heard the conversation. Don't shy away from this young man. Continue to greet him when you see him at school, and when you find him alone, give him your telephone number and ask him to call you. It might take a little time, but he will likely call you at some point. He may even approach you directly at school — when the time is right for him.
HE IS PLACING ALL THE BLAME ON ME
DR. WALLACE: I'm 17, and so is the girl I've been dating for over a year. Her parents know me and are usually nice to me. She has a midnight curfew for our weekend dates. Last Saturday, we went to a small party. It was a great party — no alcohol or drugs, just good food and excellent conversations. We both lost track of time. When we got to her house, her parents were waiting for her. Her father told me that as a punishment for bringing her home late, I couldn't see her for a month. He said that I was 100 percent to blame because I have the car and he trusted me to bring his daughter home on time.
I care for this girl a lot, but she was to blame as much as I was. I guess I'm upset because he is placing all the blame on my shoulders. How do you see it? — Tardy Leaving the Party, Norman, Oklahoma
TARDY PARTY: If she had told you that it was time to leave the party to meet her curfew and you had ignored her, then you would have been totally responsible, but the blame for being late belongs to you both equally.
Her dad is off the mark to dish all the blame onto you, but the punishment he doled out affects both of you equally. In effect, you and your girlfriend are sharing the blame equally. Learn your lesson here, and make sure this curfew violation does not occur again! You're lucky that you had a good relationship with her parents and that they have been nice to you in the past. Once the month is up, plan your next date. But before the two of you leave the house for that date, apologize to her parents earnestly and thank them for reinstating the opportunity for the two of you to continue dating. You should promise them you'll be home on time from here on out, and you must keep your word completely — without exception.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected] To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.