DR. WALLACE: I've got an unusual weight problem. I'm very slim. I'm 5 feet 3 inches tall and weigh a whopping 96 pounds! I've always been slim, even though I eat like a normal teen (tons of junk food). I've tried to gain weight, but I don't. I've been told that I have a "slim" body type and that I'll be slim all my life. Because I'm slim I'm also a bit underdeveloped physically. I'm told that I'm cute and have a "cute little figure" and I agree.
But some of the guys at my school seem to enjoy poking fun at people and I happen to be one of their targets. The name they mostly use for me is "String Bean."
I know I should be happy that I'm slim and can pig out on French fries and other fattening foods without gaining weight, but I am a tad self-conscious about my build.
I realize that Mother Nature has decided that I will be slim and I can accept that; it's the name-calling that really bothers me. Maybe the guys at my school who are name-callers might read this and decide to behave themselves. I sure hope so. — Nameless, Odessa, Tex.
NAMELESS: All bullies are cowards, but name-callers fall into a special category of cowardice because they go around sowing pain and cruelty while remaining "safe" from punishment. If challenged, they can feign surprise that they hurt anyone's feelings with their words.
The only way to make these jerks shut up is to ignore them, but doing so requires an enormous amount of self-esteem. I am pleased to learn from your letter that you have this quality in abundance.
It may help you to understand just how weak and pathetic these losers are. People poke fun at others to distract themselves from their own flaws and insecurities. Your tormentors are externalizing their secret feelings about themselves.
I realize that it is difficult to ignore the comments of classmates regardless of their motive. You must realize that you are a precious human being with much to offer the world. Right now your character is being tested. Passing the test will make you a great peacemaker.
YOU ARE A BEST FRIEND WHO HELPED
DR. WALLACE: A very close friend of mine is pregnant. She is about three months along the way and so far isn't showing. She is 16 and wants to keep the baby and someday marry the baby's father, who is also 16, but cannot yet support a family. My friend has told no one about her present condition and doesn't plan to because she feels her mom will force her to have an abortion. She feels that if she can get into the fifth month of pregnancy then it will be too late for her mother to do anything.
I love my friend and totally support her decision. But I am concerned. My friend has not yet visited a doctor and she has started to smoke and drink. This is not good. I should inform some adult for the baby's health, but I also don't want to be a snitch and lose a friend. What should I do? — Nameless, Las Cruces, N.M.
NAMELESS: Talk with your school nurse, girl's physical education teacher or school counselor and tell this professional about your friend's condition. It's extremely important that she receives immediate medical attention. You will not be considered a snitch but rather a caring and intelligent best friend who provided help when help was paramount.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
View Comments