DR. WALLACE: I am not a teen, but I read your column about teens being capable of being excellent drivers, but that too often they cause serious crashes because of their exuberance and lack of driving experience.

Oh, how I wish my best friend had the opportunity to read your column. On April 8, 1999, five exuberant teens, one being my best friend, were killed on a Southern California freeway when the automobile they were in went out of control, left the freeway and plunged down a 75-foot embankment.

A California Highway Patrol spokesperson said the driver was trying to catch up to two cars in front of them filled with friends. Witnesses told police that all three cars were in and out of traffic at speeds estimated to be up to 100 mph.

I was a high school senior on the day of the tragedy. The following day, crisis counselors helped students cope with the tragedy. Our superintendent of schools told a packed gymnasium full of grieving students that, "Young people have a particularly difficult time when they learn of teens dying because of their youthful exuberance because young people are not supposed to die, but, sadly, they do."

I will never forget his words, and when my children are old enough I will discuss this very topic with them and help them to become safe drivers and to refuse to ride with anyone they consider to be a risky driver.

This tragedy happened over 14 years ago, and I am now happily married and the mother of two beautiful children who bring immense joy to my husband and me. Yet, hardly a day goes by that I don't think of my best friend and dream of what might have been. — Friend, Laguna Beach, Calif.

FRIEND: These tragedies happen much too often and will continue to happen because most teens feel invincible. It's sad that we need stories like this to impress on teens the need not only to drive safely, but also to avoid riding with reckless and foolish drivers who use the automobile to get attention.

DAD IS MAKING A SERIOUS PARENTING ERROR

DR. WALLACE: Many times my mother will give me permission to do something and I'll make plans to do it, but when my dad learns about it he tells me I can't. For example, last week I asked my mother if I could go to a matinee movie with my friend this Sunday. She gave me permission and said she'd even drive us there and pick us up afterward. It was going to be a fun day.

But on Saturday morning, my dad found out about my plans and said to cancel them because he didn't want me in a theater without adult supervision. My mother came to my aid, but he overruled her. I then had to call my friend and cancel. It really bothered me to do this. I think my father is very wrong when he says no after my mother says yes. I don't always ask him for permission first because he works a lot and I don't get to see him that often. Both my parents read your column, so I hope you can help me out. I love both of my parents, but I still disagree with my father on this. — Nameless, Birmingham, Ala.

NAMELESS: Both parents must be in total agreement on what their child can and cannot do. One is never to overrule the other. It's time your mother and father get together and discuss why they are not together on this important issue. I agree that dad is making a serious parenting error when he overrules mom's decision and disappoints you and your friend at the last minute. Hopefully, when they discuss the rules together, you will be able to plan for an outing that will be approved by both of them.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.