DR. WALLACE: I'm a guy with a twin sister, and we're both 21. We've always been really close and thought alike regarding many aspects of life, but something has unfortunately come up recently. It not only shows the differences between us, but it's something that is worrying me quite a bit.

I'm not interested in drinking alcohol or partying now that I'm of the legal age of 21 years old, but my sister did go out with a few friends and a boyfriend of hers to celebrate her new status of being old enough now to drink legally. Let's just say that her "experiment" has not gone well. I'm quite aware that she has been experiencing hangovers; she's been missing morning classes and even some shifts at the job she works at. I tried to speak reasonably to her the other day, but she thought I was scolding her and just told me, "I'm done defending myself," and walked away.

I don't want to see my sister go down a bad path, but it seems like she's gotten off to a very poor start as a 21-year-old. And because of her early agitation when I first talked to her about the subject, I now feel helpless, even though I would definitely like to help her if there's an avenue for me to do that. — My Twin Is Under Alcohol's Influence, via email

MY TWIN IS UNDER ALCOHOL'S INFLUENCE: You care about her deeply, so you spoke up and had a conversation with her as soon as you noticed that she seemed to be out of control of her daily life. You likely did this in quite an impromptu way, and as you related, the conversation did not go well.

I recommend that you send her a text message in the morning one day and actually apologize to her for the manner in which you approached the conversation the two of you recently had. Notice I said to apologize for the manner in which you approached her, not for the content you presented during that discussion. There is a very important delineation between the two.

Go on to tell her that you love her, care for her and would do anything in your power to help her in her life, the same way that you know she would do the same for you. This may hopefully resonate with her. The key at this point is to not be condescending, not to give her warnings or use phrases like 'I told you so', but to instead speak to your willingness to be there to help her at a moment's notice.

Beyond speaking to your sister, texting her and communicating with her in these ways, you should seek out other family members, including your parents, to make sure everybody else understands what's going on. You definitely want to help her, but you should do so collectively as a family. Be sure that all information is disseminated so that everyone's ideas can be fleshed out and applied in terms of trying to reach her in a manner that will be helpful for her.

HE PULLS OUT A HUGE WAD OF CASH FROM HIS POCKET!

DR. WALLACE: My best friend and I are two guys who are young adults. We like the jobs we're working at and we like hanging out with our friends and girlfriends. Recently, he has gotten into the habit of pulling out a tremendous wad of cash from his pocket! It's literally so big that he has two sets of rubber bands holding it together in a perpendicular manner where they intersect. It's very odd-looking, and I noticed that he does it when we're out in public and he wants to impress other people, particularly girls. It seems that he wants to act like he has the funds to pay for everything and that he's going to be a fun guy to hang around with because he'll pay for everything!

So the last time I saw him pull this big wad out, at the end of the night, I actually asked him to show me just how much cash he had on him. To my great surprise, he had four $20 bills on the outside of the wad of cash and something like 50 or 60 one-dollar bills all on the inside! So in reality, he didn't really have much more than $140 total, even though it looked like a whole lot more.

I was really uncomfortable being in a group situation with him pulling that stunt, so do you think I should say anything to him or just leave him be with this "cash scam" he's trying to pull on everyone? — It's Really Not That Much Cash, via email

IT'S REALLY NOT THAT MUCH CASH: If he were my friend, I would warn him that pulling out a large wad of cash like that in public, especially these days, could truly threaten his personal safety. It's entirely possible somebody might see him with what looks like a massive wad of cash, and someone with criminal intent might follow him out of a restaurant or public place or even follow his car in traffic.

Let him know that you don't think this is funny at all on two levels, as he's trying to impress people using the illusion he's presenting, and he's also perhaps endangering himself and others like you who are around him when he does this.

It's not a good idea on so many levels, so definitely speak up and let him know that it's one of the poorest ideas he's ever come up with to try and impress people.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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