DR. WALLACE: I just moved states with my family over the summer and I'm attending a new high school in a very different part of our country.

I've noticed that the curriculum in this particular high school, and apparently the school district in our area, is quite different from the curriculum I was used to at my former high school.

I'm not complaining because I have good study habits and can figure everything out, but my question is, why do schools teach so differently in different parts of the country? — Quite Surprised, via email

QUITE SURPRISED: Each school district indeed typically follows state rules in a few national rules as well but has a lot of leeway and how they develop their own curriculum for their particular city, county, and state. You're experiencing a bit of Culture shock because it sounds to me like you've come from one very different part of the country to another one that is equally unique in a different way.

Part of the reason for this is that local boards of education are sensitive to public pressure from the local community, and in most cases, rightly so. The rules, morals, and preferences of the local community are often taken into consideration.

If you see any opportunities for improvement and are so inclined, you can attend a public school board meeting or a city council meeting and let your opinions be known diplomatically, earnestly and persuasively.

I HAVE A PARALYZING CRUSH ON HER

DR. WALLACE: I'm 14 and a boy and I'm very worried because I have a deep crush on a girl at my school. I'm way too shy to say anything to her, but I feel so strongly that I want to make a connection with her that it literally hurts sometimes.

I also think I'm a bit of an unrealistic dreamer. My older brother does not know about my crush, but he thinks I'm mentally whacked anyway because of some of the things that I do that he feels are a waste of time.

How can I get my crush to calm down and eventually go away? It feels like it's bothering me too much, and I wish I could focus on something else. — Caught Up in a Crush, via email

CAUGHT UP IN A CRUSH: You may be surprised for me to tell you that I've read papers from psychological experts who actually agreed that a healthy crush can be a good thing at times. Your case may indeed be one that fits into this category.

The reason I say this is because your letter indicates to me that you're paralyzed with inactivity, due to your present shyness. Experts have told me that although many teenage girls develop crushes, teenage boys do so as well! So you don't need to think that you're the only guy going through this. Next, my advice is to use this situation to force yourself to initiate a conversation with her.

I know this sounds like a big step, but it really isn't. Set your goal to simply be friendly to her, and if all goes well, you might make a new friend, nothing more. Work on thinking that through carefully for a few days until you become comfortable with the concept.

Then try to notice something about her, one of your classes or any small topic you could bring up briefly to her in a very casual, low-key manner. Prepare a few things you want to say to keep the conversation going so you don't feel that you'll freeze up.

Remember that she's also your age and going through a lot of things on her own. Kids typically enjoy when somebody is friendly, nice and non-pushy towards them. Simply do this and set the goal for you to become a casual friend of hers, or at least someone you can have mild conversations with. That's it.

If you can accomplish that, who knows where things will go over the rest of the school year, the next one or beyond. Don't let yourself sit, think and fantasize about something in the future, but instead stay in the present, become a casual friend and someone she can talk to. If you do that, you'll not only feel proud of yourself, but you'll find your shyness melting away as well.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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