DR. WALLACE: My best friend is constantly hounding me to go with her to "underground parties" that she claims are "all the rage!"
I've never been able to go with her because they always start late in the evening on a Saturday night, and my curfew is too early for me to attend. My friend always claims that these parties are outrageous, super fun and really enjoyable. But when I ask around to other friends who know both of us, nobody ever seems to be attending these parties with her.
Do you think she could be part of some secret society holding special parties that most people don't even know about or are not invited to attend? — Feel I'm Missing Out, via email
FEEL I'M MISSING OUT: Your letter didn't mention the ages of your friend and you, but if you're both in high school, she may be telling you a "tall tale" here. Some young people love attention, and they accomplish this by creating interesting fictional "stories" about how "connected" they are or how many influential friends they have.
It's interesting how her supposed parties are starting very late at night and no one else seems to be able to confirm any details about them. Don't worry about missing out; it's unlikely that everything she's telling you is true.
I COULD HANDLE MORE THAN FRIENDSHIP WITH HIM
DR. WALLACE: I'm a first-year college student. I met a guy a few months ago, and we became fast friends. We hung out kind of like a date, but neither of us formally said that word out loud.
The funny thing is, when we're apart, I'll occasionally text him, but he never, ever answers my texts! But then a day or two later, he will call me and talk to me on the phone for an hour or more sometimes!
What is up with this, and what can I do about it? — Constantly Confused, via email
CONSTANTLY CONFUSED: The best way to avoid confusion in a relationship, a budding relationship or a simple friendship is to ask an open-ended question during a normal, casual conversation. Something like, are you happy with our friendship? Or, am I pulling my weight?
His lack of reply to your text messages might indicate that he's very busy most of the time, and that does not mean much. It could, however, indicate that he has a busy social life apart from you, which may involve more than just his guy friends.
But on the plus side is the length of the telephone conversations the two of you have regularly. Quite often that can be a valid indicator of romantic interest. He could be hesitant since he does not know how you view your relationship and is concerned about pushing you on the issue at this point. I suggest you hang in there, take it slowly, and work on your open-ended questions gradually. At some point he'll catch your signal, and then you're likely to get your answer either way.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
Photo credit: Michael Discenza at Unsplash
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