DR. WALLACE: I'm in the seventh grade right now, and fortunately I'm a very good student. The principal at my intermediate school has been very helpful, and she's encouraging me to consider skipping the eighth grade and going directly to high school next year.

She feels that eighth grade won't be challenging to me at all and that I'd benefit by starting high school early. According to her, I might even be able to graduate high school early if all goes well, and I could start college one year earlier than most students do.

My two parents are split on this idea. One feels I should take advantage of this opportunity, the other feels I would be better served to stay with students my own age.

What do you think I should do with this opportunity? I would need parental approval, but I think I can get my parents to agree if I decide I would like to try it. — I Have an Opportunity, via email

I HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY: Academically I feel you will absolutely be poised for success, so the main consideration I would have for you is how you would deal with things emotionally and socially if you attend high school a year younger than all other incoming freshmen.

Focus on answering these questions yourself, and run them by both of your parents to get their input, consideration, suggestions and recommendations. Talk to other family members and then go back to your intermediate school principal and raise this specific issue with her.

After you've completed earnest discussions with all these interested parties, I trust you'll make an excellent decision regarding your future. And by the way, congratulations on being such a strong student!

MY GROUP OF FRIENDS STUNNED ME BY SHOPLIFTING

DR. WALLACE: I'm a girl in high school who has a large group of friends who are also girls. There are about eight of us that hang out together regularly.

Last weekend I was with four of the other girls, and we were doing some shopping in a local mall clothing store. A couple of the girls were laughing, and when I went over to see what was going on, some of them were putting small items into their purses. I immediately knew it was wrong and was thinking of the best way to say something, but I just froze.

I didn't end up saying anything, and when they encouraged me to take something myself, I told them that I wasn't prepared to do that. Ninety percent of my mind wanted me to get out of there immediately, but 10%, I'll admit, made me want to take some very small item just to fit in with the group.

I was able to exit that scenario that day without taking anything, and to my surprise, none of my friends got caught. They have all been laughing about how easy it was at school, and I think they're planning another outing to do something similar. I know this puts me in the position where I may be asked to do what they're doing in the future. I've thought about it a lot, and I know for sure I don't want to take anything. What should I do now that I'm stuck in this position? — The Odd Girl Out, via email

THE ODD GIRL OUT: Well, if your two choices are simply to steal to feel like you are a part of the group, or to not steal and feel you may become ostracized, my advice is to consider looking for a new group of friends.

I use the word "consider" here carefully. Don't simply tell them in a condescending tone of voice that you're no longer going to be friends with any of them because you don't want to be associated with friends who are stealing from retail stores.

Instead, consider remaining friends with them for the time being, but definitely intervene during their discussions at school when they are laughing about the situation. Tell them calmly but firmly that what they're doing is really wrong, and not only that, but that getting caught could impact their lives in really bad ways. You can tell them that they remain friends of yours but that you don't approve of that behavior and won't ever be tempted to follow their lead.

From there, your level of friendship and influence with these girls will either evolve in one direction or another, but at least your willingness to talk to them while at the same time telling them what they are doing is wrong and why sends a powerful message. It's entirely possible a few of the girls in your friend group may take your words to heart and change their behavior. If no one does, and you eventually grow apart from the girls in the group, so be it.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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