DR. WALLACE: I'm 17 years old and have been dating for nearly two years now. I've met and even been set up with several initially interesting guys, but sadly all my boyfriends have had major, deal-breaking flaws that eventually revealed themselves. At least I've had the good common sense to immediately cut off those relationships once I became fully aware of a major character flaw, integrity breach, illegal activity or whatever the case was at the time that caused me grave concerns. Let's just say that I would rate my dating "career" thus far quite below average and even disappointing.

Recently, through a chance introduction a few months ago, I met a guy who is only a month older than I am. He attends a school about 15 miles away, so I never had even seen him before. What I found unusual, and even quite exciting, was that we clicked mentally and philosophically almost immediately during the event we were both attending. It was a volunteer project that I'm passionate about and he also shared similar concerns and had agreed to donate his time that day. I learned he has been doing various types of volunteer work since he was 15 years old.

We exchanged phone numbers and agreed to keep in contact with each other. I saw him at subsequent events, and we immediately came together and started talking and laughing like old friends. He has a wonderful personality, he's quite intelligent and his character appears to be solidly in the upper ranges of integrity.

We began to keep in touch via text and social media more regularly, and I began to look forward to my Saturday afternoon volunteer work not only to support the cause I believe in but to seek out and spend time talking to my newfound friend. Well, one day after the event we were both tired and hungry, so he invited me out to a late lunch — or an early dinner since it was about 4:30 p.m. It seemed so casual and fun to talk to him that the time flew by, and the meal was great since we were famished.

At the end of the meal, he asked me if he could take me out on a planned date one evening at my convenience. I was caught off guard so I told him that I would absolutely think about it. Well, I did some thinking during the next week. When I saw him the next Saturday, I asked him where he wanted to take me on a potential date. He said that he loves music, art and the outdoors, so he offered me a Sunday hike, a concert or a visit to a great art museum about an hour away. I told him I'd love to go on a hike the following day if he had time. He said he did, and to make my long story short, we had a great time hiking, talking, laughing and enjoying the beauty of nature. Since that first date we have also been to a few concerts and the museum he recommended.

But even though this guy and I have a great connection, my siblings and even my parents are not too hot on seeing me date him. My immature little sister even said that we look stupid together. Why? Because I'm a long and lean volleyball player who is quite tall and thin and he has a much shorter, much wider body type. I tower over him by nearly seven inches since he's only about 5 feet, 7 inches tall, and he outweighs me nearly two to one. Yes, our physical bodies are opposites, but our minds and souls appear to be quite in line with each other. I truly enjoy his company.

I'm not planning to marry him or run off with him in the next few months or anything like that, so I'm simply amazed that many people feel compelled to point out our physical differences to me as if I were blind. Of course I can see my body and his, but I look first at his mind and his personality, and he does the same with me. I just want to date him for a while, see how things go and monitor if I feel we are eventually growing together or apart over time. This is exactly what I've done with a lot of other guys, some with great looks, who have turned out in the end to be people I would not wish to spend another two minutes with in any social setting.

What can I do to convince my family, friends and even sports teammates that my connection with my new friend transcends our physical vessels? — Not Amused by Their Reactions, via email

NOT AMUSED BY THEIR REACTIONS: Your letter is one of the most heartfelt and sincere that I've received in quite a while. The dating experiences in your recent past that you've related will strike a chord with many teens of all types. Just because someone looks attractive, compatible or in line with your physical body does not mean their personality is similar at all to yours. And in the end, when it comes to interpersonal relationships, personality compatibility is extremely important to maintain a successful, ongoing bond.

You've had enough dates and fledgling relationships by now to notice what you value in another person you wish to spend time with. I absolutely encourage you to continue dating your current friend so that the two of you can discover over time just how deep your connection is. After all, getting to know, trust and appreciate another person you become involved with is a very important endeavor. The way you are approaching your social life demonstrates both maturity and learning from your prior experiences.

As to your family, friends, teammates and social acquaintances, simply tell them about your friend's strong points. Encourage them to speak with him and to get to know him better. Smile and relax when others question you or begin to show even a whiff of disapproval solely based on your physical differences. Those who would question your choices on who you spend your time with are demonstrating immaturity regardless of their actual ages. Your maturity level, on the other hand, stands well above your biological age.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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