You Are a Wise Young Lady

By Dr. Robert Wallace

November 18, 2020 5 min read

DR. WALLACE: My boyfriend says he loves me and that I'm the only girl he has ever loved. I like my boyfriend a lot, and there are many moments when he is very sweet to me, but at other times, he acts distant or disinterested. I don't understand what he's thinking, and it doesn't make me feel so confident in our relationship. I'm not worried that he's dating others behind my back or anything like that, but I find it strange that he can be sweet one day and kind of aloof the next day.

What should I do? I'm nice and decent-looking, and I don't make demands on his time at all. It's just that I wish he would just be consistent with me. He doesn't need to be sugary sweet all the time, he can just be chill or casual, but I still want him to pay a little attention to me when we are together. Don't you think that's reasonable? — Seeking Consistency, via email

SEEKING CONSISTENCY: I think you did an excellent job of informing me of your feelings as they relate to your relationship. In fact, you did such a good job that I suggest you bring these same comments up to him on the next occasion that he is treating you sweetly. Simply ask him about the other occasions that make you feel uncomfortable. Specifically ask him if there is anything you should know — or anything you can help him with if he has a lot on his mind.

Relationships have ups and downs, ebbs and flows. The key is to not get too high or too low at any point in time. You are a wise young lady to recognize subtle signals and to strive for consistency within a relationship.

A lot of young men have normal mood swings and are distracted by a variety of issues in their lives. It could be that his "aloof" times truly have nothing to do with you at all.

Therefore, communication is the key. Don't try to pry or badger anything out of him at any point in time when he appears uncomfortable. Rather, let him know you are open to listening if there is anything he wants to get off of his mind.

Once you bring up this subject, his actions going forward will give you an even better look at the level of strength your relationship has.

MIGHT I TEACH MUSIC AT ANOTHER HOME?

DR. WALLACE: I'm 16, and I need some extra spending money! My friends all do extra work at home or even have part-time jobs so that they can have spending money for the times we spend hanging out at our local shopping mall and the fast food restaurants there.

My mom said if I do some more work around the house (things well beyond my regular chores) she would pay me an extra $20 every week. But my friends all earn $50 to $125 per week with their jobs! I need more cash than $20!

My mother, in all fairness, does not have a lot of extra money to give me, so I told her I wanted to get a job. But she doesn't want me working out of our cramped house. Some of my friends work at restaurants, and some even teach music lessons that pay really well. I'm a very good piano player, but all I have is a small electric keyboard set in my room.

My best girlfriend down our street has a nice big piano in her living room, and she said nobody plays it on the weekends. She thinks I should ask her mom and mine to see if I could teach piano lessons there. Would it be out of line for me to ask both moms about this idea? — Potential Music Teacher, via email

POTENTIAL MUSIC TEACHER: Ask your own mom first if this idea is all right with her. If she grants you her blessing, then, together with your girlfriend, approach your girlfriend's mother. Let her know that it would be a huge favor to you and that you would be 100% respectful and responsible at all times if you were to be granted this privilege.

Furthermore, if this were to work out, I'd suggest that you split a reasonable share of your earnings as a "rental fee" for the use of this family's home and piano. Good luck! Teaching music is a wonderful way for a responsible teen to earn some extra spending money.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Free-Photos at Pixabay

Like it? Share it!

  • 0

'Tween 12 & 20
About Dr. Robert Wallace
Read More | RSS | Subscribe

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE...