DR. WALLACE: I love my father very much. I have been begging him for years now to stop drinking his four to five tall glasses of hard whiskey every night, because I don't want him to die from alcohol poisoning or in a car accident. Well, I was thrilled when he surprised me on my birthday by telling me that he had decided to give up his whiskey. He even promised me that he would never drink it again.

I told him that he had just given me the best birthday gift I could ever ask for in my entire life! I was overjoyed, until he told me that he had decided instead to just have a few glasses of red wine with — and, it turns out, after — dinner each night.

My father told me that there is less alcohol in wine and that it even provides some health benefits. He claims whiskey can't do anything but hurt his health, so he's committed to this change. He says a lot of Americans sip a little red wine and that it is no big deal. Then, he always mentions that millions of French people can't be wrong! He seems to think everyone in France drinks red wine with absolutely no consequences. Is it true that my father will be safer on red wine than hard whiskey? — Birthday Girl, via email

BIRTHDAY GIRL: Red wine contains alcohol, just the same as whiskey does, so he would be susceptible to the same physical consequences, depending on the volume and frequency of his consumption. Changing drinks alone will not magically solve everything you are hoping can be solved.

I am aware that many adults in America, France and around the world enjoy a little wine once in a while. If your father truly wants to give you a great gift, he should limit his consumption such that he never becomes drunk or out of control in any way. I would say that one glass, or two at the very most, should be his absolute limit.

I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE DID NOT TRUST ME

DR. WALLACE: A girl from my school and I have been good friends for nearly four years now. Last week, she had a small party at her house. I was one of the eight friends who showed up to attend this event. During the party, she took me into her room to show me a very expensive ring her mother and father had recently bought for her. She spent a lot of time showing it to me and telling me all about the special features that made it so valuable. She said she wasn't allowed to wear it every day, that she could only wear it once in a while, for very special occasions.

Well, the very next day, this same girl called me and accused me of stealing the ring right out of her bedroom during the party! I was so shocked and stunned that I couldn't even formulate any words to reply to her. She then said if I didn't return it to her right away, she was going to tell her parents I took it, and they would definitely press charges against me.

I started to cry. I didn't steal this ring. I haven't stolen anything in my whole entire life. I told my parents about this immediately, and my mom called this girl's mother and told her I didn't steal her ring. This girl's mother hung up the telephone on my mother!

A few days passed, and I didn't hear anything at all. And then, yesterday, this girl called me and said they had found the "missing" ring on the floor behind her dresser. She apologized to me and said she wanted to be friends again. My mom said the decision was up to me, but I could tell by the way my mom was speaking to me that she did not think remaining friends with this girl was a good idea. So, now I'm not sure I want to be her friend anymore, based upon this incident. What do you think I should do? By the way, this girl and I are both 16 years old. — Falsely Accused, via email

FALSELY ACCUSED: Well, for starters, this girl should have called and discussed the situation with you before making any type of accusation. She easily could have asked you what you remembered from the day her ring went missing. She obviously did not do that, nor did she give you the benefit of the doubt. She should have, especially since you have been her good friend for several years.

In the end, the decision to remain a close friend with her or not is entirely up to you. I will mention that because she behaved the way she did, things between you and her can never be quite the same, since you will know deep down that she does not fully trust you.

Another avenue exists here. Instead of the binary choice between remaining very close friends or never speaking to her again, you could remain friendly with her in social situations while actively reducing the amount of time you spend with her, especially one-on-one time.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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