DR. WALLACE: I've come to realize that I'm a grinder in terms of sticking to it when I face challenges. My first instinct is to put my head down, work harder and try to plow through whatever I'm facing in my life. Sometimes this approach works really well and I resolve things. When this happens, I'm ready to go onto the next thing when it comes up. However, lately I've come to realize that I've been grinding away trying to solve certain things and following certain dreams I have, only to realize after a lot of time has been invested that it has been futile or all for naught when it comes to my original plans.

Why do I do this? Why do I persist in trying something in a relentless fashion and holding on for way too long? I've done this in relationships, with job searches and even with some of my big life dreams and goals. I know it's good theoretically to be one who's willing to put in the time and effort, but sometimes I take this significantly too far. — I Sometimes Grind Things Into Dust, via email

I SOMETIMES GRIND THINGS INTO DUST: It is indeed admirable to be a person with a can-do attitude who is willing to put in the work and effort while sticking to a task or goal that is deemed to be important. However, I think you would benefit by setting up a structured timetable for evaluating situations that you find yourself in on a regular and incremental basis.

For example, if you're in a relationship, once or twice a month, take an hour to sit down and review what's going on and how you feel about things in a notebook. Literally write these things down, as it'll give you time to think as you're doing so. Focus on being honest with yourself as you go through this exercise. Do the same in other aspects of your life as well. Not only should you put pen to paper in terms of what progress you're making, what obstacles you're facing and so forth, but make it a point each time to evaluate how realistic you think what you're working on truly is. And if you're dubious about a certain situation, take time out to do further research before you continue "grinding" along without a feasibility review.

Adding incremental checkpoints like this for various situations in your life could be not only beneficial but may also be a huge timesaver given your propensity to grind away with your head down as your default setting.

MY DORK LITTLE BROTHER USES HIS SCHTICK ON STRANGERS!

DR. WALLACE: My younger brother is a total dork, and he has one habit in particular that I, his older sister, find truly annoying. Whenever we are out together as a family and he has an opportunity to speak to another person, even a random stranger, he will readily engage them in conversation.

The weird thing is, he'll always start the conversation by saying an odd word like aloha, "guten morgen," "buenos dias" or something like that. He loves to say greetings, salutations and goodbyes in as many languages as he possibly can. What's truly dorky about this is that he can't speak any of these languages at all; he just knows a couple of random words. So if anyone starts to actually speak sentences to him in a foreign language, his ruse evaporates instantly.

Sometimes when we're eating dinner as a family and he starts doing this, it's no big deal, as I can just tune him out and roll my eyes. But there are some social situations in public where there are guys I'm interested in within earshot, and they inevitably later ask me what's up with my brother, and I have to go through this whole explanation of what he's all about.

How can I get my dork of a brother to stop embarrassing me like this in public? — His Schtick Is Embarrassing, via email

HIS SCHTICK IS EMBARRASSING: There's little you can do about this at all, especially because he's not using profane language or anything like that. He's simply opening a conversation in a unique way, even if you don't appreciate the style and manner in which he chooses to do so.

I see his actions as basically harmless, and it's interesting that he's learning a few words of so many different languages. Perhaps later on in life, he may have a career as a tour guide, travel agent or hospitality host.

Trust me, I've heard many much worse stories about younger brothers over the years, so if this is the sum total of the difficulties you have with this particular younger brother, consider yourself lucky.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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