DR. WALLACE: I was reading one of your previous columns about a father who allowed his son to stay in the family home after his 18th birthday but charged his son a modest amount of rent to do so. As I recall, the letter writer did have a job but was not happy to be paying even a small amount of rent to his parents.

This is my reason for writing to you today: My own father literally drew up a lease and had me sign it while I was living at home between the ages of 18 and 20. I did have a good job in a restaurant, so I could afford the lease plus $50 a week for groceries, which was definitely a deal given how much food I ate at home. I was a little surprised at the time that my father brought all this up to me, but he told me it was for my own good, to teach me to budget my money and to build some financial and "life" discipline. After a little over two years, I got a job over an hour away as a welder, and my pay rate went up dramatically, so I could then afford my own place with a roommate.

I'll never forget the big bear hug my father gave me as he told me how proud he was of me on the day I moved out of the family home. And then after I gave my mother a big hug too, I looked back at my father, and I could see that he was opening his wallet and taking a check out of it. He gave me a check for not only every single dollar I had paid to him for the lease of my room and for the $50 per week they charged me for food, but he told me that he had invested my money in certificates of deposit, and he gave me all the interest that money earned as well!

He told me that he wasn't worried about covering the taxes on those earnings, as that cost was well worth the life lesson he was able to ensure I learned along the way. I was beyond stunned and surprised, and I tried to refuse the money, but he insisted. He did tell me that it was his advice that I should put the check he gave me into the bank as a safety net for myself, and that I should save and spend it wisely and carefully.

I can tell you that if I ever have a family and find myself with children turning 18 in the family home, I'm going to repeat my father's actions, as this was literally the greatest gift I ever received. — My Father Had a Plan All Along, via email

MY FATHER HAD A PLAN ALL ALONG: Thank you very much for sharing your fantastic and heartfelt story. Your father indeed is a wise and clever man who had a game plan that he silently followed all along with your best interests in mind. It appears to me that he was quite driven to teach you discipline while at the same time creating a "forced" savings account that you knew nothing about as you were making your ongoing monthly payments.

You are definitely one of the fortunate few to be involved in such a fantastic outcome, but I do feel that many parents who apply a modest room rent, or "room and board" dollar amount for food and shelter, are actually doing their adult children a favor, even if they don't return the money later.

The key is to make the amount reasonable and functional, and to have this designed to improve their offspring's life and financial skills. Not every family, parent or guardian is going to see things this way, but a high percentage of those who do this, and do it reasonably with good intentions, are doing something valuable and caring for their young adults just starting out on their journey in the world.

OUR HIKES SOMETIMES GO VERTICAL, AND THAT'S HARD FOR ME

DR. WALLACE: I'm a female college student in my sophomore year, and a few months ago I met a new boyfriend. We're off to an excellent start, as he's friendly, reliable and tremendously respectful of me. I feel the same way toward him in these categories, and even though things have gone far beyond my overall expectations, there's one thing that is concerning to me at this point in time.

He loves the outdoors, and he likes to go hiking, but it doesn't stop there. He actually likes climbing low-level mountains, hills, moderate cliffs and so forth. He invites me on a lot of these hikes, but sometimes when he starts going uphill, it's more challenging to me than I'm comfortable with. Not only do I fear for my safety, but I get far more fatigued than he does because I'm not used to it like he is.

He literally rock climbs with some of his guy friends, and apparently he's been doing this for at least four years. How do I let him know that I'm not capable or comfortable keeping up with him during some of our outings? I truly appreciate that I'm always invited to go with him, but I'd prefer to only be on the more modest hikes, not the incline climbing. I don't want to be treated like a princess who sits on the sidelines, as I'm willing to hike and sweat, but I just don't want to go as far with the challenge as he and his friends do. — He's Into Climbing During Hikes, via email

HE'S INTO CLIMBING DURING HIKES: Your letter indicates to me that you've already solidly avoided being labeled a "princess" who's not willing to roll up her sleeves and get involved in hiking and exercise. However, just because he's apparently an elite hiker and climber doesn't mean that you are, and in my opinion, he should have looked out for you a little more carefully up to this point.

It's good news you haven't been injured yet, so I feel at this point you should have a heart-to-heart conversation with him and let him know that while you appreciate all his invitations, you would prefer to only go on the moderate hikes, not the truly difficult or "expert" ones.

And I'll include one potential suggestion for you to consider: You could propose to your boyfriend that you and he could go hiking together an hour in advance of a time that he's going to be meeting his male friends. The two of you could enjoy 45 minutes to an hour of a moderate hike together so that you could get some exercise and spend some personal time with each other. Then when his friends arrive, you could head home, and they could go on from there to face the difficult incline challenges they all certainly enjoy so much. Once they are done, he can catch up with you to tell you all about it.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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