DR. WALLACE: My girlfriend won't eat leftovers! I never noticed this at first, but now that we've been together for about six months, I finally asked her one day why she never finishes her plate or takes to-go food when we eat out in a restaurant.

She simply told me that she was raised in a home where they never ate leftovers, and she doesn't feel comfortable eating leftovers now under any circumstances! When I started to intercede and bring up my opinion, she cut me off and told me that she's been very careful with her portion controls with the food she buys at the store and that she orders carefully at restaurants so that she doesn't have a lot of food to eat at one time.

I kind of thought she was pranking me at first, but it turns out that it's good I didn't ask her if she was kidding; she's definitely not. At the end of this conversation, I did have the fortitude to tell her that the next time we went out to a restaurant to gather, I would like a to-go box for the uneaten portions of her food since I would be happy to eat it for lunch the next day. She simply yawned, looked at me, and told me that would be fine, since she has no problem with how everyone else operates, but that she has her own specific rules for herself. I then mentioned to her that Thanksgiving is coming soon and asked if she ever ate Thanksgiving dinner leftovers. She replied, "Of course not!"

Do you think there's something wrong with my girlfriend? Do you think I have any shot of getting her to let go of this ridiculous policy of hers when it comes to food? — She Never Eats Leftovers, via email

SHE NEVER EATS LEFTOVERS: If I were in your shoes, I would simply let it go. Don't bring it up again, and do request a to-go box for any of her uneaten food that you know you'll be happy to eat the next day.

She's obviously quite set in her ways, and for whatever reason, she was apparently raised in a home that ate small portions and didn't save leftovers. Perhaps they had pets they fed leftovers to? In any case, focus on everything else that is working regarding the relationship between the two of you away from the topic of food.

It is good that she isn't intentionally wasteful with food and that she regularly starts with only small portions to begin with. This is not an issue you want to readdress over and over, especially at this point in time.

ARE WE SIMPLY TOO DIFFERENT TO MESH IN THE LONG RUN?

DR. WALLACE: I dislike using this word, especially since I have my own faults for sure, but my girlfriend is definitely shallow when it comes to a lot of her perspectives in life. We met in high school, as I was a very successful high school football player and she was a cheerleader. I know that's a cliche, but that's how we met. I'm a big guy, over six-foot-four, and I've been pretty athletic most of my life.

She's definitely a beautiful girl and has a nice personality, but it drives me pretty crazy that she's all caught up in materialistic things, like having the latest designer handbag to show off to her girlfriends. I haven't called her out on this, because I don't want to create unnecessary friction, and as I mentioned, I have my own faults as well that I'm sure she's quite aware of.

I'm definitely not materialistic. I'm more of a country-music, easygoing, hardworking, family and close friends kind of a guy. I'm not worried about what kind of car I drive or how fancy my clothes or accessories are. Is there any hope for us to be compatible over the long run, or do you feel sometimes people are just too far apart to mesh together? She's a sweet and beautiful girl who I really care about, so I'd hate to just walk away, but if it's not going to work in the long run, it might be the best thing for both of us. — Not Into Material Things, via email

NOT INTO MATERIAL THINGS: Before you hastily end this relationship because you're projecting into the future that each of your perspectives will never change, spend some time now at least engaging in each other's worlds occasionally.

Invite her to spend time with your family or friends for a barbecue. Do the things that make you not only comfortable but define who you are at your core. And in return, tell her that you'll volunteer to dress up for a few formal events here and there and accompany her to a few places that she would like to go with a more refined crowd.

The two of you can always elect to part and go your own separate ways, but the only hope for long-term success is to truly spend time crossing over at least some of the time to engage in the other person's comfort zone and at least see where that takes each of you as individuals and, more importantly, as a couple.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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