DR. WALLACE: As a girl who is a junior in high school, two things are very important to me. My ability to get good enough grades to attend my preferred university, and my social life.

My studies are going well, but my social life has been unsettled lately. My relationship with my close friends remains excellent, but the guy I've been dating for eight months has fallen into a pattern of breaking up with me and restarting with me a few days later for the past two months. This is now the fourth time that he has told me that it's time we parted ways, only to change his mind a few days later. Is there anything I can do to help him find stability in our relationship? — This Pattern is Demoralizing, via email

THIS PATTERN IS DEMORALIZING: I'm pleased to hear that your studies are going well and that you have an excellent pool of friends that provides you a firm foundation of friendship.

But regarding your personal relationship, it appears to me from afar that the current pattern you're experiencing is not a good sign at all. Your letter didn't mention the specifics of why these breakups occur and then are routinely undone a few days later, but the fact that you've had four of them recently tells me that it's probably time to at a minimum take a break from this relationship.

It would be a bold step for you to initiate such a pause, but it would allow both of you some time to cool down. I suggest taking a minimum of three or four weeks to regroup and see how you feel at that point from the new perspective you'll be experiencing at that juncture.

If you are able, resist the urge to run back into the immediate chaos you just left and instead do some deep thinking about who you are, what you want for your future and if this can be possible with this particular individual or not.

I DON'T SEE WHAT IS SO GREAT ABOUT DATING

DR. WALLACE: I'm a girl who is 13, and while I'm not yet old enough to date, I don't see why it's such a big deal! The boys at my school are beyond immature, and even a few guys that I find cute have terrible personalities and behavior patterns.

My parents tell me I won't be able to date until I'm around 16, but to me, that's no big deal since I'm not in a rush anyhow. Why is it supposedly so important for girls to get so excited to start dating? — Currently Not Interested, via email

CURRENTLY NOT INTERESTED: Good for you that you already have such an excellent awareness of those around you! Continue to focus on your studies, your friends, and the hobbies or activities you enjoy spending your time doing.

Dating becomes important to young teenagers the closer they come to turning 15, 16 or even 17. Everyone is, of course, different, and everyone has a unique set of circumstances during their "coming of age." I think it's great that you're not currently boy crazy and that you already can look at the personalities and behaviors of those around you. That keen insight will help you greatly when the time comes in your life that you may begin to become interested in dating.

The short answer for you now is that you're absolutely not ready to start dating, both physically and mentally, but I trust a day will come over the next three or four years when we will start to feel differently. But until then, there's no rush, and I feel you'll be a good judge of the character of those you decide to go on dates with in the future.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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