DR. WALLACE: I have a very nice father and I also have a stepmother and stepbrother. I just turned 17, and my stepbrother is 15 1/2 right now. Both of my parents think he is a wonderful young man since he gets good grades and does not get into any trouble.

Those facts are true, but there is more to him behind the scenes. He often makes very rude and inappropriate comments to me when we are not within earshot of either one of our parents.

I never did or said anything at all to him to cause this situation, but it's really unnerving to me and makes me feel bad. I have not said anything to either of my parents about this. I kind of want to tell my dad about this privately, but so far, I have said nothing. I'm worried about two things — first, that they may not believe me since everyone thinks he's such an angel, and second, I worry that by saying anything to my parents it might actually make the situation worse going forward.

His comments started out as just criticizing me, but they have now advanced to some really unsavory, derisive and hurtful things that are not true and would be considered sexual harassment if we were two coworkers at an office, for example.

Should I say anything to anyone, or just hope he will soon grow out of this phase? — The Object of His Derision, via email

THE OBJECT OF HIS DERISION: Find a time when your brother is away from home but both of your parents are home. Then tell both of your parents about this situation simultaneously and explain completely exactly what he has said to you.

Let both your parents know this has been going on for a while, and that you were hopeful at first that it was just a brief phase he might've been going through and would soon stop. But tell them that it has not stopped but has escalated to the point you feel the need to inform them about it.

Also let your parents know that you had considered going to your father directly, but after thinking about it, you decided to tell both parents at the same time since your stepmother deserves to know about it at the exact same moment your father becomes aware of the situation.

I trust your parents will deal effectively with this situation from there. Doing nothing and saying nothing is not working and likely will encourage his poor behavior to continue. He needs to apologize to you and stop making these comments immediately. It's your parents' responsibility to enforce this and dole out whatever punitive actions they feel are appropriate for him to endure given his actions.

I DID NOT LET HIM IN, SO NOW HE'S MAD AT ME

DR. WALLACE: I'm a teen girl who is now 17 years old and I do a lot of babysitting. I've got regular jobs doing this for three different families in our neighborhood.

Last night while I was at one of the houses, my younger brother who is 15 rang the doorbell about 8 p.m. When I answered the door, he said he wanted to talk to me right away about something important.

I told him that he could not come in and that when I got home, I'd talk to him, but he said that would be too late. I then told him to talk to our parents or his older brother about whatever it was, but he said he couldn't do that.

He kept begging to come inside the house, but after about three minutes of his nonsense, I told him I'd help him later but I had to go be with kids. He then kept knocking on the door for another five minutes or so, and then he finally left.

When I got home, he was already asleep. Then when we woke up the next morning, I asked him how I could help him. He just looked at me and walked away. He has not spoken one word to me since then! And as far as I can tell, there is nothing urgent going on that I can see in his life. Everything seems normal about him except for the "silent treatment" he's giving me. Did I do the right thing to not let him in that house that night? — A Trusted Neighborhood Babysitter, via email

A TRUSTED NEIGHBORHOOD BABYSITTER: Yes, you did the right thing, and that's one of the reasons you are a trusted neighborhood babysitter. He had no business in that house while you were working and taking care of young children.

If something was urgent, he could have called you, texted you or spoken to you at home later about it. And if it was truly urgent, he could have briefly talked about the matter while he was at the front door just after you opened it.

He obviously acted in an immature manner on this issue, which is not surprising for a 15-year-old boy as some of them tend to have moments, or even days, of immaturity from time to time.

I suggest that the next time you see him in the hallway at home, you tell him that you'll be happy to listen to him at any time about whatever issues he wants to discuss with you as long as you're not at work. Explain that you must keep your full attention on the children at all times when you are babysitting, and that no one is allowed inside the family house unless there is some type of emergency.

I trust he will speak to you again at some point, so just stay patient and smile at him whenever he looks your way. This will indicate to him that you are approachable when he's ready to make contact with you again.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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