DR. WALLACE: I'm a girl who is 14 and I've been asked out by a nice boy to attend a dance with him at our school. But I'm tall for my age, so he's about three inches shorter than I am!

I like him a lot since he has a nice personality and is very respectful, so I'm inclined to accept his invitation. However, I'm afraid other students will tease me — or worse, him — about our height difference.

I have seen his father who sometimes picks him up at school and his father is close to six feet tall. I've never seen his mother, however, so I guess it's possible that she's really short.

Do you think I should go to the dance with him? — A Tall Girl, via email

A TALL GIRL: Yes, you should go with him! It's too bad that our society usually feels that a male should be taller than a female when they are dating or married. In reality, it should make no difference at all,

Plus, given your ages, the odds are good that over time he will grow taller. Boys tend to have growth spurts a bit later than girls do, so the odds are that the two of you will get closer in height as time goes on.

But in the meantime, focus on his character, personality and how he treats you. These are the most important things, far more so than his height.

MY FATHER IS VERY QUIET AND WITHDRAWN

DR. WALLACE: Our family lost our mother several months ago and ever since then my father has been acting like he's a ghost. He doesn't talk much and he seems sad all of the time.

He used to stay on top of all our family rules and he would enforce them closely and regularly. Now he does not seem to pay much attention to things like that.

I'm the oldest sibling and I don't do anything different now than I used to, other than helping out with meals more at home and things like that. It's also good that my two younger siblings are not acting out at all and for now they seem to be as OK as possible, given the circumstances.

This makes my father the one I'm the most concerned about. Is there anything I can do to help him? — His Oldest Daughter, via email

HIS OLDEST DAUGHTER: Parents who lose a spouse grieve in many different ways for various reasons. Life goes on even when enduring a horrible loss, and this makes things especially difficult to deal with for your father.

Continue to do all you can to help out around the house and make it a point to speak regularly with your father, even if he appears to be in a silent and reflective mode.

Ask him important questions about your younger siblings and request his guidance so that you can help them too at this time. Tell him, for example, how you aim to help them and request his input and permission on how best to proceed to guide them in your mother's absence.

Also reach out to your relatives and family friends to keep them in the loop and see if you can invite them over to visit regularly. A few family outings with relatives might also be especially helpful at this time.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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