DR. WALLACE: The vast majority of parents are upset because schools across America are closed and have been empty for a long time due to COVID-19. Most parents are upset because their children are not being educated. I'm one parent who isn't upset that our son is not attending school.

Our son is small for his age, and unfortunately, he has poor vision, requiring him to wear fixed-lens glasses. Our family recently moved to our present location in the middle of the last school year. At his prior school, all the kids new him since first grade and accepted him for who he was, a nice young boy. He had no bullying problem at his old school, but at this new school, kids made fun of him and even physically pushed him on occasion, causing him to fall. When school starts back up in person, I'll talk to the principal to ensure that our son will attend school to get an education, not to be bullied by undisciplined, mean and ignorant boys.

Please tell parents whose children are bullied what to do to end this unacceptable behavior. Maybe a few read your column and could benefit from your take on the topic. I've tried to help my son the best I can by using positive encouragement so that he won't get down on himself. So far, he's hanging in there, and I'm very proud of him. —Mother of a Bullied Son, via email

MOTHER OF A BULLIED SON: You make an excellent point. Thank you for your heartfelt letter. First, let's define bullying. Bullying comes in many forms and can range from verbal (teasing, taunting, name-calling) to physical abuse (kicking, hitting, shoving, destroying property) and can also include the nonphysical (threatening or obscene gestures) behavior.

I believe the National Association of Social Workers has compiled the most relevant research regarding tips for parents and teens.

These tips encourage parents to be aware if their child is being bullied or if their child is a bully. I am amazed at the number of parents who had no idea their son or daughter was a bully and become distraught when they were so informed.

These nine tips enable parents to take preventative measures:

No. 1: Know the warning signs. Teens may be too afraid to tell their parents that they are being bullied. If a teen frequently comes home with bruises or scrapes or is often upset, it may be an indication that they are being bullied at school.

No. 2: Acknowledge bullying as a problem. If teens initiate a conversation about bullying, be sure to acknowledge it as a serious problem. Be open. Let he or she know it is not their fault, and tell the teen that you are here to help.

No. 3: Model nonpunitive behavior. When kids see their parents use aggressive or hostile behavior, they are more likely to exhibit it themselves.

No. 4: Provide consequences. If your teen shows signs of these behaviors, immediately provide consequences. A bullying pattern may start if it is not dealt with at the beginning stages.

No. 5: Deal with siblings. If siblings display bullying toward one another, discuss it, and provide consequences. If it is not addressed at home, the problem may often continue at other locations.

No. 6: Communicate with schools. Develop open communication with staff at your local school, including teachers and counselors. They will inform you of inappropriate behavior if your teen displays it outside of the family home.

No. 7: Intervene when teens are bullying others. Confront teens displaying aggressive actions about their behavior, and let them know that it is both a problem and an issue. Then discuss alternative behaviors, including expressing anger appropriately, talking about their feelings and walking away when they are upset. Teens absolutely can be taught proper skills in this regard.

No. 8: Provide tools. Help teens build social skills, coping skills, self-esteem and assertive behavior. Provide situational strategies in advance of problems that might arise.

No. 9: Talk with a counselor or the school social worker. Meet to discuss the situation and what changes can be made at home. Communication with everyone who has a stake in eliminating bullying is essential, so be proactive in this regard.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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