DR. WALLACE: My grandmother visited Ireland and stayed at a bed and breakfast in Galway. The family that ran the B & B was really nice. Their son asked my grandmother if she could hook him up with a female pen pal from California. She told him about me.

When Grandma told me about Patrick, I told her I'd like to have an Irish pen pal, so I wrote to him first. We have been writing faithfully for over two years. We have exchanged photos and small Christmas gifts. His family has invited me to visit them after I graduate from high school in June, and I'm really looking forward to that. I've seen movies of Ireland and I know it's a beautiful country.

Patrick has a steady girlfriend so he and I are just great friends. We both look forward to each other's letters and we are both learning about each other's country. I'm also dating a guy right now and we have great fun together, but he's the jealous type and he gets angry if I even look at another guy or say hello. He knows about my Irish pen pal and would prefer I didn't write to him. I usually share my letters from him so he knows about Patrick and enjoys the news from Ireland.

My problem is that the last letter I received from Patrick was signed, "Love, Patrick." So now my boyfriend wants me to stop writing to him because he's afraid we might get together in the future. I told him I wasn't going to stop writing to Patrick so he told me if I didn't stop writing to Patrick our relationship would be over. What should I do? I really do care for him and I don't want to lose him. — Nameless, San Jose, Calif.

NAMELESS: The guy you are dating has crossed the line. He has absolutely no business telling you not to write to your pen pal — his jealousy is out of control. As with almost all possessive people, his urge to control and dominate keep escalating. First he forbade you to look at other guys. Now he's trying to dictate whom you can write to. This could only get worse. Continue writing to your pen pal and, if the guy you are dating ends the relationship, consider yourself fortunate!

YOUR PARENTS ARE PROUD OF YOU

I'm 14 years old and have been taking piano lessons ever since I was 4. I do enjoy playing and even taking my lessons. I hope someday I can earn a living playing the piano. A concert pianist would be a great goal.

My parents are very proud of my playing. They were both born in Korea, where music is very important in almost all families. My only problem is that my parents want me to play "a little bit" for visitors to our house. My father is a medical doctor and we have many houseguests. I don't enjoy playing for the guests. It's like my parents force my music on them. I'm sure some of them are bored when I play a symphony piece. I like a recital and when I play before a larger audience, but when I'm at home I enjoy playing video games with my friends, not performing in front of my parents' friends and house guests. What can I do? — Nameless, Seattle, Wash.

NAMELESS: Your parents are very proud of your musical talents and naturally want you to share it with their friends and acquaintances. But they need to consider your feelings about the matter. It would be disastrous if the forced performances wound up making you dislike playing the piano. There are times when you should just be a normal 14-year-old, not a musical prodigy.

Share my answer with mom and dad and see if something can be worked out where you perform occasionally and then for only a short time. You should always end your home performance with the guests clamoring for more!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.