DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 and need your advice. Last Christmas I visited my aunt who lives in Mexico. The boy who lived next door to her was really cute and he asked me to go out with him. I told him no because I thought I was too ugly to go out with such a cute guy.

I plan to spend the Christmas holiday in Mexico with my mom. I called my cousin to find out if Juan is still around and, if so, I would probably go out with him if he asked me. She said he is still around.

During the past nine months I have lost 26 pounds, have visited a dermatologist (my complexion is now clear) and I have a new hairstyle. I think you could say that now I'm rather attractive. The only problem is that, although Juan still lives next door, my cousin said she wouldn't recommend going out with him. He is 20 years old, has a 19-month-old son and a 15-month-old daughter with two different girls and has not been employed even though he is physically capable of working.

What do you think? Should I go out with Juan if he asks me, or should I continue to say no? Being asked out and saying yes would do wonders for my self-esteem. — Lupe, Nogales, Ariz.

LUPE: Congratulations on your transformation! I'm proud of you for taking such positive steps in your life. This shows you already have considerable self-esteem and are willing to take ownership of your life. If you maintain this positive attitude, believe me, guys will soon be asking you out. Regarding Juan, I definitely agree with your cousin. This guy is trouble. He's too old for you, and he's sexually irresponsible. He's probably on the hunt for younger girls. Dating him would do nothing for your self-esteem except, quite likely, shatter it.

YOU WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR HER

DR. WALLACE: My boyfriend is my best friend's cousin. I like my friend Lisa a lot, but I also like Roger very much. I know that Lisa likes me and Roger says he loves me. All that is good.

The problem is that Lisa hates Roger and Roger despises Lisa. I've tried my best to get them to at least be civil to one another, but have failed miserably. Last week Lisa told me her mom and dad got into a huge argument with Roger's parents. Her mother and Roger's mother are sisters. The argument revolved around inherited money from the sisters' parents' estate.

Yesterday Lisa told me she hates Roger more than she likes me and even though she likes me a lot, if I didn't stop seeing him, she'd stop being my friend. Of course, I'm not going to break up with Roger, but I also don't want to lose Lisa as my best friend. Can you help? — Brenda, Wichita, Kans.

BRENDA: Tell Lisa that love should be one's guide in life, not hatred; and just as you have no intention of breaking up with Roger over a dispute that seems to be mostly between Lisa's mother and aunt, neither will you let go of her friendship so easily. Tell her that she's a dear friend and that you will always be there for her if she ever needs your help, and that you will be willing to rekindle your close friendship with her as soon as she gives the word.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.