DR. WALLACE: I'm a 22-year-old mother of a 6-month-old daughter. She is the most beautiful baby in the whole world and my husband and I will do our best to see that she blossoms into a productive, law-abiding adult. To help us, our family doctor gave me a copy of "Children Learn What They Live." The original hangs on the wall in his office.

I'm sure that all those parents who read your column will enjoy reading it, if you will be so kind as to print it. — Mother, Indianapolis, Ind.

MOTHER: I'd be so kind! And I also thank you for sharing these excellent words of wisdom.

"CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE"

If a child lives with criticism he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility he learns to fight.

If a child lives with ridicule he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with shame he learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with encouragement he learns confidence.

If a child lives with praise he learns to appreciate.

If a child lives fairness he learns justice.

If a child lives with security he learns faith.

If a child lives with approval he learns to like himself.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship

He learns to find love in the world.

WHY TEENS JOIN GANGS

DR. WALLACE: I live in Chicago and, unfortunately, our city is being destroyed by an over-load of gangs who do nothing good and everything not good! I have only one question. Why does someone join a gang? I'll be looking for your answer. — Nameless, Chicago, Ill.

NAMELESS: There are many reasons why teens join a gang, but the prime reason is that the gang offers its members a feeling that they are accepted. Many gang members, for one reason or another, lack self-confidence and have a low self-esteem. Some gang members were also loners who had a difficult time being accepted socially by their peers.

These teens think that joining a gang will erase all these deficiencies and, hopefully, give them a feeling of importance and status. Unfortunately, it also provides some members with the opportunity to destroy their lives and the lives of others when they become overzealous with their new-found "power" and acceptance.

Often, anti-social acts are committed by a gang member who, if not in a gang, would never have committed these acts.

THERE ARE NO ILLEGITIMATE CHILDREN

DR. WALLACE: I'm 14 and live alone with my mother. I don't know who my father is. Mom has never been married. The fact that my mom never married my father means that I am illegitimate. This bothers me immensely. I love and respect my mom and she has been a wonderful parent, but I don't know if I can ever forgive her for not having my father marry her. Mom wasn't a starry-eyed teenager when she had me. She was 31! Sometimes I become angry over being illegitimate and other times it doesn't bother me. But today, I'm angry about this. — Nameless, Gary, Ind.

NAMELESS: Forget about being "illegitimate"! All babies born in our world are, indeed, legitimate. The Good Lord loves and protects them all. There could be many good reasons why your mother and father decided not to get married and it could be that you are fortunate that marriage didn't happen.

You have a wonderful mother who loves you, and that you love and respect. Enjoy each other's love, start setting goals for your future, do well in school, and you will be well on your way to an enjoyable life — forever!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.