DR. WALLACE: I'm a shy 17-year-old young woman. I've only dated two guys and both of them stopped calling after a couple of dates. I'm convinced they stopped showing interest in me because I'm shy and not a good conversationalist.

A certain guy who attends my church appears to be showing interest in me. Last Sunday he asked me if I would attend our church's fall music program with him in a couple of weeks. I told him yes, but I feel a little nervous because I don't know how to initiate a conversation. Any help will be appreciated, and please hurry. — Nameless, Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

NAMELESS: Since you're worried about your ability to keep a conversation going, I recommend a proactive approach. If you talk to one or two people who know this guy, and learn a little about him (his interests, hobbies, sports, etc.), he won't be a complete mystery to you when you go out with him. And of course, you can talk about the music program you're seeing.

If he's a hockey fan, for instance, it wouldn't hurt to do a little research about the Toronto Maple Leafs so you can ask him a knowledgeable question or two about their season. If he's a music fan, you can ask about his favorite music groups. But avoid asking him questions he can answer with a simple yes or no. It's much easier to keep a conversation going if your questions require a more involved answer.

The most difficult part of any conversation is getting started. Once it's underway, you'll start to relax and feel confidence in yourself. A good conversationalist is able to strike a balance between listening to the other person and revealing her own interest and passions. Remember, this guy is also going to be very interested in learning about you as well. Don't hide yourself from him. Answer his questions and enjoy the evening.

IT'S A SCARY WORLD FOR YOUNG WOMEN

Why are parents stricter with their daughters than they are with their sons? My 14-year-old brother has more freedom than I do, and I'm almost 16. I think it's because girls can get pregnant. Do you agree? A simple yes or no is all that you need to answer my question. — Sarah, Newark, N.J.

SARAH: I can't answer your questions with only one word. I do agree that most parents are more concerned for the safety and welfare of their daughters than their sons. This is true not only because females can get pregnant. Girls are also physically more vulnerable.

If you watch TV or read the newspaper, you are aware that females are the victims of male brutality far more often than the other way around. It's a scary world for young women, especially from a parent's point of view.

MOST DON'T KISS ON THE FIRST DATE

DR. WALLACE: I'm 15 and will have my very first date soon. I know this is a dumb question, but is it all right to kiss on the first date? I'm too embarrassed to ask any of my friends. — Nameless, Cumberland, Md.

NAMELESS: There's no such thing as a dumb question. The only way to learn is to ask and never feel ashamed for doing so.

It's all right to kiss on the first date if it's by mutual consent. In a Gallup poll, most 15- to 17-year-olds said they don't kiss on the first date. Forty-three percent said yes while 57 percent said no kissing on a first date.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.