DR. WALLACE: I'm the oldest of three sisters, and I live at home as I attend a nearby college. My youngest sister is 12, and she's literally been driving me crazy the last few months by always asking me to "guess" what happened to her at school or some other event she wants to talk about.

At first I thought it was kind of cute, but she always approaches the conversation in the same way and if I'm too tired to guess, she insists that I guess and we end up spending a lot of time in mutual frustration before she'll tell me whatever it was that she wanted to tell me.

I love and care for my younger sister, but I'm growing really tired of her act in this regard. I've done my best to try to keep my cool and not let it go beyond our mild bickering, but I'm internally feeling extremely frustrated. What can I do about her incessant stubbornness? — Little Sister is Beyond Stubborn, via email

LITTLE SISTER IS BEYOND STUBBORN: She will eventually grow out of this behavior, but for the time being, do your best to stay above the fray and limit your personal frustration. One strategy you could employ would be that when you see her after not having seen her recently, start a conversation by asking her if anything interesting or fun happened to her that day. She may then go directly into discussing whatever is on her mind or whatever happened to her that she would like to share. And if she beats you to the punch in the near future by asking you to guess, have ready in advance a couple of quick, easy guesses you can give to her, then let her tell her story and make appropriate comments to her about it.

After one of these sessions, when she's all done sharing, let her know in a gentle but helpful way that when someone asks another person to constantly quote "guess" certain things, it can become a little bit too much or even at times annoying. Tell her you won't mind her asking you to do this once in a while, but as part of her maturation process, she may want to think through and come up with other ways of starting conversations. Tell her that your goal as a loving older sister is to help her develop socially whenever you see the opportunity to do so. If you can pull this off in a manner and tone of voice that conveys you sincerely care about her and are trying to help, this should help diffuse the situation a great deal between the two of you and hopefully get her to buy in to the earnest advice you're trying to give her.

I'M ALMOST A 100% HOMEBODY

DR. WALLACE: I realize it's not normal for a 19-year-old female like myself to stay home most of the time, but that's what I do. I'm an only child and I live with my mother as I attend a junior college.

But beyond school, I rarely venture out into the world much at all. Some people might think I'm a coward, but I'm pretty sure I've identified the reason why I stick so close to home. It's because my father used to get drunk a lot when he lived with us and he would often yell abusive things at my mother. Several times a week he would throw a glass, a plate or a dish against the wall or on the floor and shatter it into hundreds of pieces.

He was loud, obnoxious and belligerent, and I always felt extremely nervous and apprehensive whenever he was in our home, even if he wasn't going on one of his rants all the time. My parents finally split up, and I understand that my father has moved out of state to live with a brother of his roughly 500 miles away, so you think I could exhale and move towards a more normal life, but so far I haven't.

The world has a lot of loud sounds and noises, and I prefer the quietness of being at home with my mother rather than randomly wandering around our town. I realize this isn't normal, so I'm wondering if you have any suggestions as to what I could do to finally let my guard down enough to venture out a bit more. — Extreme Homebody, via email

EXTREME HOMEBODY: Take some time at first to reassure yourself that you are now in a very different mode of your life, as your father is long gone and will no longer live with your mother and you. Give yourself permission to think of yourself as your own informal "life doctor" and prescribe yourself small doses of time outside your home to start with. Go for a walk in an area that you know is calm and safe and start the process of spending time outside your home just enjoying the day and the scenery on your own.

Make this process gradual and after each successful outing, take time to literally sit and think about what you just accomplished once you are back home. Keep doing this and soon you'll build up "muscle memory" of comfortably getting some exercise on your own via a nice walk around town at a moderate but steady pace.

And as you make positive strides in this regard, I trust you'll develop a good feeling for when you may be ready to join another person for a cup of coffee or tea, or to attend a study session together. Look around at your fellow students in your classes and select a few of them to suggest that you study together or just enjoy a cup of tea while discussing the class you both attend. This may be a very worthy goal that you might consider setting for yourself at this early stage of your small steps towards reentry into daily society. I wish you the very best of success and progress going forward from here. I'm rooting for you and trust you'll make excellent gradual strides forward over time that will truly add up to an overall meaningful change in your life.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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