DR. WALLACE: I'm a guy who is now in his second year of college, and I've had the same girlfriend for the past two years. She's one year ahead of me in school and is planning to spend her entire summer next year plus the following semester in Europe at a prestigious university there.

She even plans to graduate from there before returning to the United States to start her career. This means her plans will keep her out of the United States from June 2023 until June 2024. We've already had several talks about dealing with a long-term long-distance romantic relationship, even though our separation date is still about nine months away.

However, what's confusing me is that she thinks we should get used to the idea now by each dating other people platonically over this next school semester. She says we should cut down the frequency of time we spend with each other so that we can wean off each other and not have to go "cold turkey." Do you think she actually believes this, or is she simply setting me up to break up with me right before she leaves or even a bit ahead of that? At this point, I don't know what to make of her "logic." — One Confused Boyfriend, via email

ONE CONFUSED BOYFRIEND: It's likely impossible to tell at this point solely by her words, so I'd recommend that you focus more on her actions. When the two of you do spend time together, is she as loving and caring as before? Are your conversations still as intimate and do you continue to discuss your long-term future together? Or is she more focused on getting started with other possible connections and then on to her next school year overseas?

I feel being open and honest with her is the best way to go about things from here. If you don't think the idea of seeing other people is a good one, calmly and directly explain to her why. Tell her that she has introduced the concept and you'll have the ability to keep it in the back of your mind over the next nine months, but until then you wish to spend as much time as usual with her each week until she departs.

Her reply to this will be enlightening in terms of its content and her tone and body language. You should also ask her to further explain her reasoning on this topic in greater detail and depth. Be prepared to be on your toes and observe her carefully as you discuss this sensitive matter. It may be possible to garner an accurate indication of where she's truly coming from. You might also introduce your plans of reuniting in June of 2024 to see how comfortable she is discussing that. At this point I'll give her high marks for creativity, but low marks on continuity. And when it comes to interpersonal romantic relationships, continuity and consistency are very, very important.

SHE LOWERED MY GRADE UNFAIRLY!

DR. WALLACE: I just completed a tough mathematics class in summer school, and I worked really hard to earn an A grade in this subject. Math is my strongest subject in school, so I knew I could achieve an excellent grade.

I got really high grades on the tests and quizzes, and I participated often in class. I was never late, I never missed a class and I always maintained good citizenship.

When the grades came out, I discovered I was given a grade of B-plus. I was shocked, since I know I was either the best or second-best student in the whole class of 25 students.

I think I know why this happened! My aunt by marriage recently got a job at our school and she was the instructor in this class! I went up to her after the grades came out and asked her why I didn't earn an A grade based on my performance. Do you know what she said to me? She actually told me that she was afraid to give me an A because someone might say it was nepotism and that she only gave me an A because she's my aunt. This is unfair! We are not even related by blood at all. She is simply my uncle's second wife, and they've only been together for less than three years. Is this grade now permanent, or can I protest it in some way? — Feeling Ripped Off, via email

FEELING RIPPED OFF: Speak openly to your school administration, especially your principal if possible. Stay calm and explain that you feel it's unfortunate that she likely overreacted when it came to the issue of your grade in that class. You should also refer to your other strong grades for several years in this same subject at this same school.

It's entirely possible that your school's administration may indeed change your grade. Speak to your parents about this matter openly as well, and perhaps have them suggest the school have another mathematics teacher review your work, your test and quiz scores and then determine if you indeed deserve a higher grade.

I wish you good luck both in your quest to receive the grade you feel you deserve in this class, and at the family dinner table this Thanksgiving, particularly if this aunt is in attendance.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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