DR. WALLACE: I don't live with my grandma (my father's mother), but I do visit her several times a week. She lives within a 10-minute walk from my house where I live with my parents and siblings. It's a safe neighborhood, so there's no problem for me to walk to her condo from where we live.

My grandma lives pretty close to my school, so sometimes after school I go to her house to do my homework and have a snack; I walk home to my house once my mom gets home from work. I love my grandma, but there are times she can be really strict, and sometimes she can be truly inflexible. If I don't do exactly what she asks me to do, when she wants me to do it, then she turns gruff.

It's not like I talk back to her or anything, but if she gets miffed, then she won't give me any snacks or even a piece of fruit to eat. Sometimes I get really hungry, and she always tells my mom if she feels I didn't behave exactly up to her ancient standards. For example, if I even look at a text message when she's speaking to me, she comes unglued!

How can I get grandma to be nicer to me? — Basically a Good Granddaughter, via email

BASICALLY A GOOD GRANDDAUGHTER: Your grandma is nice enough to let you come over to her house after school, so let's start by remembering that she doesn't have to do that.

And you should also be aware that she comes from a vastly different generation than you do, one in which cell phones and text messages did not exist! Therefore, she apparently has no patience for them and it's likely that she expects your full attention when she's speaking to you.

My suggestion is that you make some small adjustments to keep her from becoming angry with you. She's likely very set in her ways, and you are young and flexible enough to adjust a bit during the time you're at her condo. You do call yourself "basically a good granddaughter," right?

So be aware of her triggers and do your best not to set her off. Be nice, polite and friendly with her when you are there. Ask her a few questions about herself and her younger days as she may enjoy telling you a little more about your family history than you already know.

You'll still have plenty of time to read and answer text messages later in the afternoon. I feel a few small adjustments on your end will have your grandma interacting quite nicely with you on a regular basis.

I WANT TO ADOPT

DR. WALLACE: I'm 20 years old and most of my friends are married and have at least one child already! I hear their stories about the joys of motherhood, and I'll admit to being a bit jealous.

Right now, I don't have a boyfriend, but I do have a really good job that I like and that pays me well. I haven't had a boyfriend for two years and so I'm convinced I will never get married. But I still want a family, so I want to adopt a child shortly even if I'm still in my early 20s.

Do you think I'd be too young to adopt if I were still unmarried at say 22 or 23 years old? — Would Love To Adopt, via email

WOULD LOVE TO ADOPT: First of all, I'd say that you are too young to have decided that you will never marry! At the still-tender age of 20, you have a lot of dating years ahead of you yet.

Volunteer at your place of worship or at a daycare center or join a volunteer group where you can help out children. Socialize with those around you and mention how much you enjoy children and how you'd love to start a family someday. At some point you'll meet eligible individuals to date, and you might even make friends who can set you up on a few dates as well.

Take your time and see how your life develops. You may wish to someday get married and start a family of your own, so keep that option open for now. And yes, you can always apply to adopt a child, but that can come at any point in your life, so don't feel that you have to rush into it.

I'd also suggest that you offer to help your married friends with some babysitting so that you'll get more experience working with and caring for young children.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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