DR. WALLACE: I'm 17 and so is my boyfriend. We love each other very much and plan to get married after we graduate from high school. My boyfriend had been sexually active with his previous girlfriend and I had been a virgin before we started a loving sexual relationship. Sharing sex with him is the most wonderful experience I have ever had. He said that having sex with me is the ultimate — all because we truly and deeply love each other.

I agree with you that having sex before marriage is a huge mistake — unless the couple shares love, but being in love makes having sex something beautiful. I know that you won't print my letter, but I wanted you to know my feelings on premarital sex. - Nameless, Philadelphia, Pa.

NAMELESS: Your immature sexual fling is called lust, not love. When immature sexual feelings take place, the young lady is severely at risk of being infected with a sexually-transmitted disease, not to mention an emotional overload, and possible pregnancy. I received thousands of e-mails and letters from young women who regret their premarital affairs and, in many cases, the impact that sex has on a relationship is negative and the result is a breakup.

This guy says that he loves you because he enjoys sexual encounters with you. He probably told the same story to his ex-girlfriend. Before something happens to bring distress into your life, end your romantic evenings with this guy. And when you do, do you think he will continue to date you? You will soon find out!

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS

DR. WALLACE: I've been seeing a girl for several months and our relationship has been rocky to say the least. She is always arguing with me, and calls me names when I disagree with her. When we are together she flirts with every guy she sees and, in short, she treats me like dirt.

I've tried several times to break up with her, but she always starts crying and telling me that she loves only me and promises that she'll start treating me better. But that hasn't happened, so now what should I do? — Todd, Toledo, Ohio.

TODD: Actions speak louder than words. Drop her and find a girl whose company you enjoy. Professions of love are meaningless if they are not accompanied by loving behavior.

When they first start dating, all young people should realize that they should never accept abusive or disrespectful behavior from a boyfriend or girlfriend out of fear that this is what they deserve, or because they'll never find anyone better.

Standing up for yourself and demanding proper respect automatically makes you a more attractive person.

SHE TOLD ME TO BUZZ OFF

DR. WALLACE: I've been dating a girl for over a year. Most of the time we had good times, but the bad times came when she ignored me and flirted with other guys. When I challenged her about this, she said that she needed to flirt because it stroked her ego and made her feel "really" wanted. And then she said that if I didn't like it, I should "buzz off."

Last week I had my fill of her ego and told her that if she didn't stop flirting, I was going to call it quits with her. Well, she surprised me when she said that she planned to continue stroking her ego, and if I didn't like it I should just "buzz off" and look for another girlfriend.

What should I do now? I really like this girl. — Confused, Lima, Ohio.

CONFUSED: It's time to end the relationship for I fear things will not improve. Wish her well and then "buzz" over to a sweeter flower — a Rose, a Daisy, a Lilly — you get my message!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.