They Constantly Make Wrong Assumptions About Me

By Dr. Robert Wallace

August 17, 2026 5 min read

DR. WALLACE: I'm a teenager, and I truly feel misunderstood. If it was just my parents that I felt this way about, I could probably deal with it. However, several of my friends, people who haven't really gotten to know me and even my teachers all seem to think they truly know me, but they don't. They make assumptions that are way off base. All I can think of is that it may be due to the clothes I wear, the friends I typically hang out with and the fact that I don't often say much.

Why do people persist in making assumptions about teenagers like me, without ever truly getting to know me? Is there anything I can do about this, or is there a way for me to deal with it better? — Very Misunderstood Teenager, via email

VERY MISUNDERSTOOD TEENAGER: Thank you for your letter, which was not only very insightful, but also provided me with a few potential clues that may provide a better answer for you.

You correctly mentioned that your personal experience has been that people not only misunderstand you, but also assume that they know you or what you're like. You, however, point out that people who do this are completely wrong when it comes to you.

So, my suggestion is to speak more often to more people and reveal a bit of your true personality, your true personality as you view yourself. I'm not suggesting that you really reveal anything too personal by any means, but just think about the things you would like people to know about you, and see if you can drop clues, hints or fragments of this information in the various casual discussions you have with virtually everyone, and in particular those who misunderstand you.

With human nature being what it is, people often make assumptions about others regularly, and even subconsciously. You can avoid a great deal of this by working to be a little less shy and to speak up here and there, and as you do so, each time you should strive to reveal a little bit of who you truly are. The more you interact with people regularly in this manner, the sooner they will come to understand, appreciate and enjoy you in the way you deserve to be viewed.

I'VE NEVER FELT SO DRAINED!

DR. WALLACE: I feel as if I've truly lost a lot of energy recently, even though my physical routines haven't changed at all, nor has my diet. I'm still the same teenager I've always been. I've noticed that I've gotten tired over the last few weeks, starting in the late afternoon and definitely into the early evening. I feel emotionally drained because I have a lot of challenging and tricky situations going on in my life right now.

Normally, I can deal with drama and continue to keep going, but for some reason, some of these issues that are emotionally draining to me have crossed over and made me physically tired as well. Is this normal? What can I do about this to correct it or at least relieve the situation somewhat? — Emotionally Drained Recently, via email

EMOTIONALLY DRAINED RECENTLY: Indeed, what you're experiencing is far more normal than you might've realized previously. When you go through a stage of your life with a lot on your mind, certainly more than you usually are carrying around, you experience excess mental fatigue from thinking and worrying about things. This can cause you to withdraw from normal activities you may participate in, including exercising, socializing with good friends, taking a hike or a brisk walk or whatever you may normally do.

This fatigue can unfortunately hang over you like a dark cloud. Basically, your mind is trying to figure out what to do or how to solve a difficult situation or situations. As you're thinking both consciously and subconsciously about these matters, it leaves you little room for additional focus in other areas and then mental and physical fatigue often follows.

One of the best remedies for this is to find appropriate people you can speak to openly and honestly about some of these challenges you are wrestling with. Please note you may need to sit and talk with different people regarding different situations or different issues that are weighing on your mind. Simply taking the time to speak with a trusted person about your situations to the degree that you are comfortable explaining them can provide tremendous mental relief and also allow your subconscious to search for and often find solutions during these conversations.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Randy Laybourne at Unsplash

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