DR. WALLACE: I've already been accepted to the college of my choice, and I'm working hard now to find an internship in the field of study that I would like to eventually become my full-time career. For whatever reason, I feel that I must continually push myself to do more and more in order to uncover a great opportunity for myself, even while I'm still going to be a college student for three more years.

I have certain expectations, and I get frustrated when I don't live up to them or don't get them moving in a positive direction as quickly as I would like. My girlfriend tells me that I'm too intense, but to me, I feel like my career has already started, even though I'm still a college student.

What advice do you have for someone who is both driven and at times pretty hard on himself due to internal expectations that I'll readily admit are quite lofty? — Driven to Succeed, via email

DRIVEN TO SUCCEED: I feel there's a significant difference between someone who is driven to succeed and someone who puts unnecessary or unrealistic pressure on themselves for various reasons.

Many times in the world of sports, world-class athletes mention that they do their best when they relax and "let the game come to them" rather than pressing or trying to force something. Basically, they're saying that they just aim to be focused and relaxed, then to concentrate and allow their natural talent to take over.

Similarly, for someone career-driven like yourself, you have the natural tendency to already be active and forward-thinking. That's a tremendous asset, so try not to smother it by pressing even harder day after day, week after week.

Instead, seek to network (let the game come to you) as much as you can in your free time, and explain to others what you're trying to accomplish. Readily solicit referrals to people. They may be able to introduce you, and that could help you open additional doors. And as you do this, always be sure to thank the other person and ask them if there's anything you can do in return for them, as you would like the assistance to be a two-way street.

Taking part of your innate, internal drive and channeling it in this manner will likely help you far more than filling out more forms or spending countless hours doing more research on the internet. Do your best to channel your natural drive into two segments: one that continues the efforts and path you're on already, and a second channel that involves smiling, talking with others in your chosen field, networking and using your human interactive side of pursuing your dreams. Not only will this likely help bring you new opportunities, but your girlfriend will likely view you as still quite driven but a little less intense.

TWICE I SIMPLY COULD NOT BELIEVE MY EYES!

DR. WALLACE: I recently met a new guy, and he has a lot of good qualities, but something happened the other evening that threw me for a big loop. We had been hanging out with friends from our same college earlier, but they left, then he and I decided to go off alone together to go dancing at a club near our school.

When we got out on the dance floor, I couldn't believe my eyes! He started dancing in such a frenzy that I don't even know how to describe it. The music was a moderate, mainstream type of rock music, similar to what is known as classic rock but with an updated feel to it. But the way he was dancing, it was like he was at a punk rock concert! He was literally thrashing around and moving in such weird and unique ways, it was like he was channeling this odd kinetic energy from some faraway planet.

As this was going on, I just smiled and continued dancing in the manner that I'm used to dancing, which is relaxed but certainly much more mainstream and modest. I was too put off to say anything to him afterward, and he acted like everything was normal.

I next decided to take him to a different place to dance with even milder music a few nights later, thinking that he would perhaps make an adjustment and dial things down with even softer music playing in the background. But again, once we got out on the dance floor, he kicked into the exact same mode he demonstrated the first time!

He's an all right guy, nice-enough-looking and friendly, and I was just starting to like him a little bit as I was getting to know him, but now I'm concerned. I've also thought about of how embarrassed I would be if anyone I knew saw us dancing together and witnessed his "performance."

I always like to try to think the best about people, but I'll admit that once I've had time to think about those two experiences after a few days passed, it started making me wonder about other aspects of his personality that may be lurking that I'm unaware of.

Do you think my discomfort at witnessing how he acts on a dance floor is a good enough reason for me to slowly wind down our dating frequency until it eventually wanes out entirely? Part of me feels bad for thinking this way and actually wanting to head for the exits on this relationship, but another part of me knows deep down that I don't feel we are a match. — I Couldn't Believe My Eyes, via email

I COULDN'T BELIEVE MY EYES: Every person has the right to enter or exit a potential relationship for any reason at all, so don't be too hard on yourself. If you already know deep down that his exhibitionist-style dancing behavior is not going to mesh with you over the long run, this is as good of a reason as any to wind down a relationship that has truly yet to form anyhow.

One of the things that I stress for teenagers and young adults on a constant basis is that it's healthier to exit relationships once it's apparent they're not going to work out rather than staying in them while knowing that things aren't right. It may be difficult to do the first time or two, but it's a learned behavior like anything else, and with practice, everyone should be able to diplomatically exit a relationship early rather than drag it out and make it much more difficult later. Think of it as visiting a dentist at the first sign of trouble rather than waiting for a long period of time and having to face a root canal eventually. Sorry to be so blunt, but time is one of the most precious commodities we human beings have, and time spent staying in a misguided relationship is one of the saddest and most unfortunate misallocations of this precious asset.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Ian Stauffer at Unsplash