DR. WALLACE: I'm a college student, and I'm a member of a fraternity. One of my fraternity brothers seems to have taken a liking toward me, but the more I hang around with him, the more I realize he always wants to borrow stuff from me.

Several times I've asked him for a particular item back, but he just laughs and says, "Possession is nine-tenths of the law!" To me this implies that he was simply taking my items permanently! And by implying that he had them in his possession and bringing up the law, I took it as if he was taunting me to sue him to get them back!

What should I do in a situation like this? I can tell you that he and I are both pledges at the same level; neither one of us is management of our local fraternity or anything like that. — My Pledge Brother Has Sticky Fingers, via email

MY PLEDGE BROTHER HAS STICKY FINGERS: There's leverage right in front of you that you may not be aware of. Simply ask for one of your items to be returned in front of one of your other fraternity brothers who is at the same level as you and this particular "friend" of yours.

This will create a witness to you requesting your items back, and perhaps you'll get them soon enough. If you don't, that opens the door for you to go to your fraternity management and explain the situation. You can reference requesting the items previously in front of another pledge, who will be able to back up and confirm this indeed happened.

With the leverage of your fraternity's management in place, if this "brother" wants to remain a member of the fraternity, he's going to need to wash off the glue on those sticky fingers and start returning your items he's "borrowed."

MY MENTOR WANTS ME TO GOLF WITH HIM, BUT I'M A HACK!

DR. WALLACE: I'm a college student, and one of my professors has taken a tremendous interest in me and helped my academic career tremendously thus far. He has given his office time to me generously, given me several excellent suggestions about my undergraduate studies and also helped me prepare for future career in my chosen field. I'm aware that he loves to golf, because I see many pictures of him with friends and even a few celebrities at local golf courses hanging in his office.

I'm a decent athlete and played high school basketball, but I've only attempted to golf a few times, and I'm definitely a hacker, not a polished golfer. Well, this professor told me that over this summer his family could use a fourth person to golf with, and he would really like me to join him, his wife and his adult son to golf at the local country club with them.

I was pretty surprised at the offer, and I said I was busy the following weekend. He merely replied that that was no problem and the following weekend would be fine! Now I'm concerned because I know I'll embarrass myself out there. Do you think I should find a diplomatic way to decline his offer? I don't even own a set of golf clubs! — An Athlete Who Doesn't Golf, via email

AN ATHLETE WHO DOESN'T GOLF: My advice is to go on the golf outing with your mentor and his wife and son. Contact him at least four or five days in advance, and explain that you don't own any golf clubs, it's been quite a while since you've been on a golf course, and you hope you don't embarrass him and his family or delay their normal routine with your subpar play.

By telling him this upfront, and knowing how much he has already tried to help you, he will absolutely step up and make you feel comfortable about this situation. They will all likely give you pointers, let you borrow their clubs and guide you through the day the best they can. Remember that most golf outings of this type revolve around social conversations and enjoying some fresh air and exercise together with friends and acquaintances much more than being competitive at golf.

And if you have time before that weekend arrives, go to a local driving range and see if you can practice hitting a bucket of balls, or find a local instructor who can give you even a short, inexpensive basic lesson. This will calm your anxiety and give you a little something to lean on going into that weekend.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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