DR. WALLACE: I made a new friend last year at college, and I see him again this school year as well. To protect his true identity, let's just call him "Freebies," since this is his favorite word in English language.

He has this habit, which I find extremely annoying, of seeking free food or other things of value at every opportunity he can drum up. He'll overhear others planning to go out to get fast food or to stop at a casual restaurant somewhere, and he'll show up as if he was bouncing into them unexpectedly, and they naturally invite him to sit down for a few minutes with them. I've witnessed several of these experiences firsthand.

He will decline to order any food specifically, but if somebody offers him a bite or a portion of their meal, he will always take it. And if they don't offer anything to him, he'll actually make a comment that some portion of their meal looks really good, and he asks for "a small bite" to try it!

The times I've been with him and seen this go on, I've declined to touch any food or drink from anyone. At first, I thought this was maybe something he did occasionally or inadvertently, but he actually said to me the other day that we should go out together and see if we can get some "freebies"!

He also networks with every single person he possibly can on campus to find out if they have a part-time job somewhere so that he can get into a movie theater for free, for example, or receive an employee discount at a particular store and so forth. Everything he does is to get something free or at a tremendous discount. It's truly exhausting to watch!

Last school year, this activity was not as blatant as it is already this time around, and I'm growing increasingly frustrated watching him pull these stunts, even when we plan to go out to get a bite to eat on our own somewhere together. Other than this flaw, he's a decent guy.

How can I get him to knock off the whole "freebie" persona so that we can actually spend some time together as friends rather than having all his time being consumed trying to get something for nothing (or as little as possible)? — Freebies Are Not Worth the Effort, via email

FREEBIES ARE NOT WORTH THE EFFORT: You are correct to tell "Mr. Freebie" that you're not interested in being his wingman in search of free scraps of food or free movie tickets.

Tell him you'd be more than happy to help him look for a part-time job so he can earn some capital of his own, as it would allow him much greater freedom and latitude in being able to socialize more comfortably with your mutual friends and especially you.

By telling him you're not interested in joining him on these ventures and simultaneously providing him with a suggestion that could serve as a remedy, you demonstrate that you are a good friend making constructive suggestions. It seems some people always want to get a free ride whenever and wherever they can, but you are wise not to be drawn into it or become a party to it. If he can't accept your suggestion in good faith, perhaps you'll need to ration your social time with him more carefully in the future.

I HEARD WHAT MY BROTHER AND HIS LAUGHING FRIEND WERE UP TO

DR. WALLACE: I'm a female college student, and I come back to visit my family every other weekend, as it's only about an hour drive from the campus I live on these days.

Last weekend, I made the usual trip to see my family, and I stayed for the weekend to enjoy some family meals together, to see our parents and my siblings. My sister really enjoyed seeing me, but my younger brother, who's in eighth grade and is a computer whiz, barely even said hello to me.

I was curious why he was spending so much time in his room on the computer, and by chance, I came in to the family home on a Saturday afternoon to change my clothes to go hiking with some friends for a few hours before the family dinner. My parents and other siblings had a planned shopping trip, so my brother and his friend were the only two in the house.

I overheard them talking and laughing, and basically what I gathered is that my brother was sending harassing and inappropriate spam messages and emails to some kids he doesn't like at his school. His friend was laughing hysterically, and they really thought they were cool using the computer to go after some of their classmates anonymously.

I quietly changed my clothes, listened for a couple more minutes, then left the house in a very quiet and stealthy way so that the boys would not hear me. While on the hike, I wrestled with this dilemma in my mind for a while. I left that Sunday night without saying anything to anyone, but now my conscience is nagging at me. Do you think I should say anything to anyone, or should I just let this go since I'm not actually living in that house anymore? — College Student With a Dilemma, via email

COLLEGE STUDENT WITH A DILEMMA: You do indeed have a dilemma, and you need to take action. You may not have realized it, but your brother and his laughing friend (by association) are actually bullying these other students.

Think about it this way: If the roles were reversed, and you overheard someone doing this to your brother, you would definitely want to put a stop to it, right? Additionally, studies have shown that nipping bullying behavior in the bud, before it becomes too widespread or full-blown, provides the best opportunity to end the despicable behavior permanently.

Therefore, without delay, let your parents know what happened and that you're sorry to have to report it, but you know it's your moral duty and obligation to look out for other students now that you know what is going on, regardless of you not living in the family home any longer.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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