DR. WALLACE: I'm a male high school senior who is giving some serious thought to my future after the school year ends. I'm considering possibly going to a local junior college or maybe to a trade school. I've heard there are some really great jobs available in the next several years due to the nationwide buildout of data centers.

But recently, I was talking to a friend of mine whom I respect very much, and he told me that he's planning to join the military after he graduates high school. I immediately dismissed this and told him he was making a mistake, but after he explained everything to me over about 20 minutes, I came away with a much different opinion.

I've thought about that conversation a lot and have even surprised myself by actually considering this as a third possibility to go along with the two I mentioned previously. I'm the type of guy who openly discusses everything I'm thinking about or considering with both of my parents, so they are already well aware of the two possibilities I'm considering.

Now that I'm actually seriously considering entering the military as an option, I've been intuitively hesitant to say anything to my parents. I know that if I bring this subject up, they will try to talk me out of it, and I really want to make my decision, whatever it turns out to be, on my own without a lot of drama before I've made up my mind for certain. My thinking is, if I end up deciding against the military, maybe it will be better to have never mentioned it to them, as I will have then sidestepped all the difficult discussions that surely would have come up regarding that topic.

If I choose junior college or trade school, my parents would never know about me seriously thinking about the military. And then, during the school year, if I do actually make up my mind to attend the military, I figure at that point I'll finally bring it up as an option to discuss with them with a few months left in the school year (or at least six weeks). Do you think this is a good plan? — Now Considering Three Future Options, via email

NOW CONSIDERING THREE FUTURE OPTIONS: It's good that you're cognizant of the implications of this situation and have given it so much thought. I recommend you immediately begin studying the military options as soon as you can so that you'll know within the next six weeks whether or not you're going to get truly serious about this avenue as a real possibility. If you do end up dismissing it, you should still bring it up later in the year to your parents as you go forth with another decision.

But if after six weeks you do find yourself increasingly interested and have maybe even narrowed down your scope to a particular branch of the military you see yourself pursuing, then I feel it's better to engage your parents sooner rather than later at that point.

During your vetting process, speak to as many of your friends, their parents, relatives or other individuals you know of who have attended the military so that you can have open discussions with them. Once you feel you have done a proper amount of research and talked to several people, plus perhaps a recruiting office manager, then I feel it's best to mention this to your parents before the midpoint of the school year so that you will all have time to discuss, debate and evaluate the situation properly.

Don't fall into the trap of waiting until near the end of the school year, because if you get cold feet at that point, you may find yourself procrastinating and then having to explain yourself on very short notice, which would be beyond uncomfortable for everyone involved.

MY MUSICIAN FRIEND EXPECTS ME TO ATTEND HIS EVERY GIG

DR. WALLACE: I have a good friend who's always been an outstanding musician, and he's actually played a few small instrumental parts on a couple of records by modestly sized artists. He also joined a band three months ago, and they now play locally many times in our area.

My girlfriend and I of course got invited to attend some of his first shows. It was indeed exciting to see him playing live with the band, and I'll admit their music is pretty good.

But one invitation turned into two, two turned into four, then four into eight, and you get the picture of where I'm going here. He not only invites me to every possible show they play, he resorts to insisting, cajoling and even at times scolding me by saying that if the situation were reversed, he would be "more than happy" to attend every single one of my events in an effort to help me launch my career.

I of course value his friendship and want to support him, but I need to do it in a reasonable manner, as my girlfriend has already spoken to me about how much time we're spending watching his shows instead of enjoying other social times together. Another problem we've encountered is that his band typically "opens" for more successful bands that come on and play later and longer into the evening. This means that we have heard their top four songs over and over with tremendous repetition. Only a couple of times so far were they able to play a fifth or six song during one of their "sets" onstage.

I have two questions about this: Why is he being so insistent about us attending almost every single "gig" of theirs, and how do I break this cycle as diplomatically as possible? — My Musical Friend Has Become Demanding, via email

MY MUSICAL FRIEND HAS BECOME DEMANDING: Start by literally asking your girlfriend what other outings she would enjoy to "counterbalance" all the time the two of you have spent watching your friend's band. Take her suggestions and actually make firm dates on specific evenings that you're going to take her to various places.

With that as a backdrop, visit your friend, continue to encourage him and tell him how much you enjoy watching him play. But explain that you won't be able to attend as frequently going forward, as you need to be fair to your girlfriend and provide some opportunities to spend time with her at places she enjoys as well.

Do tell your friend that you would love to always catch a show or two per month, and ask him to point out to you the best or most important shows that will be upcoming so that you can try to attend the most important shows in front of their largest audiences.

And as to your question about why musicians definitely rally their friends, family members and acquaintances to attend their shows, it's a combination of things. First, the larger the audience, the better it is for the band, as it projects a regular following, and secondly, sometimes the owners of various venues will only book shows with a minimum number of tickets sold in advance or agreed upon in lieu of any payment for the band members.

It's often simple economics. Sometimes in order to guarantee a show, the band must pay for, say, 25 or 50 tickets, buy them from the venue, then distribute them or sell them to their friends and acquaintances. In other instances, having a large enough following of fans who will patronize an establishment by eating and drinking during the show is also seen as part of the tradeoff for booking a band. Simply put, the more people a band can generate attending their shows, the better it is economically for everyone in the "musical food chain" needed to keep a new band playing in front of live audiences.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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