DR. WALLACE: I have a really nice, close girlfriend who I've known for seven years. We've grown up together and been through a lot over the years. We've shared a lot of laughs and good times and even helped each other through a few of our personal hard times.

I really like her and respect her a lot, but she has one flaw that really gets under my skin. Whenever a guy asks her out for a date on short notice, she has no problem canceling whatever plans she and I may have made previously that were scheduled at the exact same time.

This has happened randomly but repeatedly over the last year or so, and I've absorbed the hits on these cancellations without saying much or showing any overt reaction to her at all.

But this past weekend was especially difficult since she and I had made special plans to attend an event that she knew was really important to me. Yet once again, 45 minutes before our scheduled meeting time, she called me and canceled because some guy she just met wanted to take her to see the sunset on his favorite hiking trail!

I really want to tear into her this time, but I'm afraid if I say everything I'm feeling, that it could jeopardize our entire friendship.

Is there anything at all I can do about this? — Beyond Frustrated, via email

BEYOND FRUSTRATED: I can understand how you feel, especially since your letter laid out all of the previous times she has pulled this same stunt on you.

Oh, but seven years is a long time, and a friendship with that much history needs to be treated quite carefully. Therefore, do your best not to steamroll her in a harsh tone of voice, because this will have the potential to elicit a very poor reaction that may threaten your overall friendship, potentially to the breaking point.

Even though it will be difficult, take a deep breath and do your best to stay calm the next time you see her. But do initiate a conversation with her and let her know how disappointed this most recent cancellation was to you.

Let her know that you've absorbed the past similar incidents without much worry, but this last one stung you. Do this in a calm, matter of fact voice and ask her if she was aware of how you felt that day. She may not have known, and this could provide her an opening to apologize to you and to further the discussion between the two of you in a constructive, friendly way to help patch things up.

Your goal should be to get your point across tactfully, and to hopefully make enough of an impact that she will not readily repeat the same behavior so cavalierly.

WHY DO NEW YORK RESTAURANTS HAVE LETTER GRADES?

DR. WALLACE: My father works in business, and he travels to New York City quite often, so he knows his way around there.

My volleyball travel team just got invited to play in a summer tournament in NYC, and we are all really excited to make this trip, especially my two best friends who are teammates of mine.

My dad told me all about what to expect in New York, but he also mentioned that we should only eat in restaurants that have an "A" grade. What does this mean? Do the chefs have to take a test on their menus or ingredients or something like that? It sounds weird that a restaurant would have to take a test. — Excited About Our Trip, via email

EXCITED ABOUT OUR TRIP: Since 2010, New York City has required restaurants to post letter grades that correspond to scores received from sanitary inspections.

An inspection score of 0 to 13 provides a restaurant or food service establishment an "A" grade, a score of 14 to 27 points is a "B" grade, and 28 or more points is a "C" grade. Grade cards must be posted where they can easily be seen by people passing by, usually in the window of the restaurant or establishment.

Needless to say, this grading system provides huge motivation for each food establishment to achieve an "A" grade! Would you feel comfortable dining in a C-graded establishment under this system?

Providing sanitary motivation is a good thing for all customers and for the establishment, its workers and management as well.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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