DR. WALLACE: I was once a great and reliable student. Then let's just say I made friends with a girl who gradually exposed me to many things I had never even tried in my life.

Please understand I'm not blaming her; I'm just doing my best to explain my own personal story. She was fun, dynamic, impulsive and always the life of the party. I was kind of a bookworm student who stayed home, studied hard and got good grades. I have a few relatively tame friends that I hung out with from time to time, but once I hooked on to this new girl, she quickly became my best friend. We spent more and more time together and my other friends, ones that I suddenly considered to be kind of boring, fell by the wayside.

Well, I'll cut a long story rather short. Let's just say that I became involved with underage drinking of alcohol, experimentation with drugs and even a few other things I'm not too proud of and don't really want to mention in a public letter.

My question to you is: At this point is my life ruined? My reputation at my school is no longer good, and my parents are beyond upset with me. The only good thing I can say is that this girl I elected to hang out with was recently incarcerated because she did some pretty bad things two weeks after her 18th birthday and now, she is facing the justice system as an adult. I'm only 17 and a half, and although I had a few minor scrapes with the law during that time I hung out with her, I fortunately didn't do anything that created a permanent record or caused me to do any jail time. What can I do now? I feel I've burned all my bridges when it comes to my school and my former friends. — Made Some Mistakes, via email

MADE SOME MISTAKES: The great thing about life is that if we live long enough, truly want to make changes and ask for and seek forgiveness, we often are able to get second and even in some cases third chances.

It sounds to me that in your situation you simply need a fresh start and a corresponding second chance to get your life back on track. Start by facing everyone head-on in the utmost of sincerity. Apologize to those you feel you have slighted, ask for a second chance and promise to be a better person going forward. Explain that you feel you made mistakes and that you crave the opportunity to return to your former life.

Ask those around you, especially your parents, to judge you going forward by your new, current behavior starting from today and not continuously judge you on your past poor behavior. Mention to them that you're not asking for your past mistakes to be forgotten, but that you're simply requesting a fresh start and to be judged on how you act and behave now going forward.

You're going to have to toe the line very closely right now. Don't slip up, don't revert to your previous behavior, and seek to go above and beyond to be helpful to your friends, acquaintances, family members and anyone else you interact with on a regular basis. Finally, take time to sit quietly for an hour or two and think about what happened. Forgive yourself for your past behavior, but at the same time tie that forgiveness to your character. This should motivate you to do your very best to behave in a manner that makes you feel proud of yourself going forward. None of us are perfect, but those who sincerely wish to make positive changes often succeed in doing so. I'm rooting for you to be one of those people.

I'M A GREAT STUDENT BUT HAVE NO SOCIAL LIFE

DR. WALLACE: My parents are very strict and treat me differently than how most of my fellow classmates are treated by their parents. For example, even though I'm an A student and on the honor roll, I must take summer school classes because my parents want me to both get ahead and stay fresh with my study.

Our family heritage comes from outside the United States and my parents highly value education. They were both born overseas, but I was born here in this country. I long to be able to be treated the same way my fellow students are. They seem to have less pressure on their grades and get to enjoy more social activities.

How can I get my immigrant parents to understand that we are now living in America and things are different here than in the land they grew up in? — Want to Be Like My Classmates, via email

WANT TO BE LIKE MY CLASSMATES: I absolutely respect your parents' desire to keep an eye on you and encourage you to study hard and be a good student. However, all study all the time and no social activities leads to a very closed-off and boring existence, especially for a teenager.

I do feel that your parents can ease up a bit on the pressure they place on you and allow you some time to enjoy social activities and outings with your friends. Feel free to show them your letter here and my response to you. Mention that I have worked at school districts around the country for several decades and based upon my experience, I've noticed that even the best of students needs a healthy balance of social activity and downtime away from studying in order to be the best student they possibly can.

Additionally, you can check with one of your favorite teachers to see if there is a suitable high school counselor who could meet with you and your parents and explain a few of these things to them. This counselor could verify what a great student you are, and how much the school enjoys having you as a student, but that they are concerned that your educational experience is being limited in some social areas. Sometimes having an outsider speak well of you, and state your position when it is correct, is far better than doing it yourself.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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