DR. WALLACE: I've been saving up money to go to college and live out on my own for some time now, and it's finally paid off! I started one class at a community college this summer and I have a decent restaurant job in our town, and I live on my own now with one roommate.

I'm 19 and female and take great pride in doing things on my own. It's really important for me to be self-reliant and to make my own way in this world. It feels good to have a job, pay my own bills, pay my rent and be able to have just enough money to attend junior college right now.

Someday, I hope to be able to transfer to a four-year university somewhere in my area and complete a four-year college degree.

Recently, I received an offer that both surprised me and kind of startled me at the same time. My father's parents (my grandparents), who lived back East, sadly both fell ill recently. My grandmother recovered, but my grandfather passed away. Now, this grandma just moved here to Colorado to live with my parents. I saw her the other day and she asked me about my life, and when I told her, she said she was very proud of me! I liked that a lot and told her so.

Then, a week later, I visited my parents' house for a Saturday night dinner. When it was over, I sat next to Grandma in our living room, and she surprised me by telling me that she would like to pay for my college education! I told her that wasn't necessary but that it was a very nice thought. However, she insisted and made me promise to come back next week to talk to her about this further.

I really have it in my mind that I would like to make my own way in this world. Should I gracefully decline Grandma's offer, or is there any logical reason why I should accept it? — Independent at My Core, via email

INDEPENDENT AT MY CORE: There is no reason why you have to think of yourself as any less independent simply because a beloved family member wishes to provide assistance to you. Start by realizing that you did not ask for this assistance, as it was offered to you as a gift out of the goodness of her heart.

You can honor her generosity in a variety of ways. You can start by applying these funds only to your education and nothing else. You can spend the money wisely, carefully shopping for the best possible schools, textbooks, classes and related ancillary materials. Your grandmother will take great pride in watching you succeed in your quest to receive a four-year college degree!

And if you wish to stick true to your core belief in remaining as independent as possible, you can silently make a promise to yourself. Promise that when you are older, have completed your college degree and have enough resources to help another young person or two in a similar fashion to how you are potentially being helped now, you'll commit to doing exactly that for someone else!

This way, you can consider the funds as a loan that you will repay at a future date via another person that you will similarly help when you are several decades older than you are now. You will have paid your own way through college, as your "books" will be fully balanced at that point.

HELP SETTLE OUR FAMILY DEBATE!

DR. WALLACE: Please help me settle a family debate! I'm 18 and the youngest of four siblings. My 22-year-old sister, 20-year-old brother and I all live at home with our parents. Our 25-year-old brother lives on his own out of state, as he has a great career he truly enjoys.

Now that I've completed high school and all four of us are adults, my mother recently mentioned to my father that she would like to get a part-time job to keep her busy. We live in a comfortable neighborhood in a comfortable house, and my father has had a good, steady job for the past 30 years. He doesn't think it's necessary for my mom to go out and work part-time somewhere because we've been able to live as a family on his salary for quite a long time. My parents are also both extremely frugal and good savers, so we've always fortunately been comfortable no matter what the national economy has been like.

So, the question is basically this: Should my mom take a part-time job if she would like to, or would it be better for her to remain a homemaker even though all four of her children are now adults? Remember that three of us live at home, so there's still a lot going on in terms of laundry, meals and household maintenance! — The Youngest of Four, via email

THE YOUNGEST OF FOUR: I side with your mother 100% on this one! As you stated, the three of you siblings are all adults, and therefore can easily help with laundry, home maintenance and meals. Your mother should not have to wait on all three of you hand and foot this far into your lives.

I'm sure she will still be very active in the home even if she takes a part-time job at the same time. She deserves this opportunity to try something new that may be satisfying on many different levels for her. She'll get to socialize with co-workers, be productive in different ways and get a break on the routine she has obviously been so good at for so long.

Tell your father this is not likely about the money she'll earn but the enjoyment and self-satisfaction she will derive from this new endeavor. I encourage her and your family to seek to make her desire to work outside the home a reality.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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