DR. WALLACE: My 19-year-old sister just returned from spending six weeks in Germany to better learn how to read, write and speak the German language. She was in Munich, the Bavarian region of Germany, and loved every minute of it. She discovered that Munich is a beautiful city and the people were very friendly, especially her host family.
One thing that surprised my sister was that she could visit a beer garden, order a bratwurst sandwich and wash it down with a stein of beer. You see, the minimum age for consuming alcohol in Germany is 18. My sister said all of the American students in this program sponsored by her University were under the age of 21, but over age 18 — and therefore most of them were drinking beer over there. She said that all of the students behaved themselves pretty well and none of them became intoxicated.
Why can't the United States follow Germany by lowering our legal minimum drinking age to 18? Eighteen-year-olds are considered adults in every other way.
I dare you to challenge my reasoning. — Gisela, San Diego, Ca.
GISELA: Giving me a dare is sometimes a way to see your letter in print. Every so often I received a letter such as yours promoting the theory that 18-year-olds are considered adults, but are denied the privilege of consuming an alcoholic beverage, but I'm never convinced that older teens can consume alcohol without consequences.
Germany has one of the highest percentages of teen death by automobile accident in the Western world. The reason is perfectly clear: lax laws about teen drinking coupled with an Autobahn that has no maximum speed limits in some areas.
Even with our strict minimum drinking age laws, we have much the same problem in this country. The three leading causes of death among teens our automobile accidents, homicide and suicide. Nearly half of the teens that die in accidents are intoxicated themselves or are in a car driven by someone who is. This fact alone makes alcohol intoxication leading cause of death among North American teens.
In addition, nearly one-third of teen murder victims are under the influence of alcohol at the time they are killed. Add to this the fact that 20 percent of teens that commit suicide are intoxicated at the time of their death and one can plainly see that teen alcohol use is anything but consequence-free.
HE WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE MISERABLE
DR. WALLACE: This summer I met an interesting guy at my best friend's birthday party. We hit it off pretty well, started dating regularly and have a steady relationship for two months now.
Shortly after we became a couple, my new boyfriend started making small demands, such as, "Don't use purple near polish anymore; it makes you look cheap," and "Let your hair grow longer because when it short you look masculine." Now he's telling me what to wear and even what kind of food I must eat.
All this bothers me, but I do still like him. My sister said he's a "cruel controller" and I should get rid of him. But other than being demanding, he seems pretty cool. Please give me your advice, should I stay or should I go? — Clash, via email
CLASH: This guy has a possessive personality and the more he gets to know you, the more possessive he will become. He appears to be enamored not of you, but of the idea of controlling you and telling you what to do in several areas of your life. Usually when this type of "control" commences in a relationship it unfortunately becomes progressively more persuasive and invasive. My advice? The sooner you end this relationship, the better. If you don't, eventually he'll make your life miserable — perhaps much sooner than you expect.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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