DR. WALLACE: I'm a 16-year-old girl and I have a close friend who is also my age. We get along really well, and we enjoy doing similar things together. There's one thing that worries me a little bit about her. She takes very obvious pride in the way she dresses.

But to be honest, her sense of fashion is nowhere near mainstream for typical girls our age in our part of the country. She sticks out like a sore thumb. I even hear a few people make snide comments about her clothing. I was thinking of telling her that she may not be as fashionable as she thinks, but I also don't want to upset her because she's my friend. Should I let her know? — My Friend Has a Peculiar Style, via email

MY FRIEND HAS A PECULIAR STYLE: I would not repeat any comments you've heard or thought you heard made about your friend and the way she dresses. Your letter mentions that she takes obvious pride in the way she looks, and she definitely knows that her style is not mainstream. For her, that's likely the point.

Focus instead on the things you have in common with her that make you two girls such good friends together. Fashion trends are always changing and evolving, seemingly at an increasing speed these days. Who knows if your friend will want to change her style again in the next few weeks, months or within the next year? The less you say about anything that makes her different, and the more you focus on the strength of your friendship, the better off the two of you will be and the stronger your friendship will be as well.

SHE MISUNDERSTOOD ENTIRELY AND STORMED OUT!

DR. WALLACE: I'm a 17-year-old female and so is my best friend. We were out at a social event this summer and she had her eye on a particular guy she liked, but she was too shy to go up and say hello to him. That event ended, and we made no contact with him at all.

Later, I found out through one of my other friends that this particular guy would be at a different event about a week later. I told my best friend, and we both planned to attend. When we got there, she said she needed to use the restroom and she took off. I didn't see her for 10 minutes.

As luck would have it, this guy and one of my friends were within my line of vision, so I walked over and said hello to my friend so he could introduce me to this guy. It seemed to work out perfectly, and I told him that I had a girlfriend I should introduce him to because I was already spoken for! He laughed out loud at this and said, "Well, it might be possible."

Just as all of that happened, I noticed my friend standing about 20 feet away with a scowl on her face! I walked over to her and told her what had happened, but she was already mad at me and started wrestling the keys out of her purse and told me we were going to leave. She drove us to the event, and I had just arrived and at least wanted to talk more to my friend, so I begged her to stay with me at the party, but she stormed out and drove off alone.

I knew I could get a ride from my friend, so I stayed for about an hour longer, talked to some other friends of mine and then asked him if he had a few minutes to drop me off at home before the party got really going. He was kind enough to take a break from the party, and he dropped me off at home. Once I got home, I texted my friend and told her everything, including that I was already home, as it was still early.

But now three days have passed and she's not returning my texts or answering my telephone calls! What should I do at this point? — She Misunderstood and Is Mad, via email

SHE MISUNDERSTOOD AND IS MAD: Do two things: First, let her know via text that you were only trying to help her with an introduction, and that you will definitely not seek to see this guy socially, as that was never your intention from the beginning. Tell her that you're there for her when she's ready to talk, and that you would never intentionally seek to injure or damage the valuable friendship you have with her.

Second, see if you can reach out to another girl who may also be friends with her and explain the situation calmly and thoroughly and see if the other person can intervene or at least explain the situation on your behalf. Sometimes, hearing it from a third party does cause a person to readjust their thinking and look at a situation from a new perspective.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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