DR. WALLACE: I love playing basketball, and I know that you are a former basketball coach. I had a really good junior season at my high school, and I'm going through summer workouts to prepare for my senior year, which should be a good one for my teammates and me.

We have several returning starters, and we are projected to be one of the two schools in our area that could win our league championship. My coach, a really good guy, made an interesting comment to me yesterday. After I was finishing up some drills and cooling down before the next set, he walked up to me and said that my techniques were all developing very well and that my fundamentals were strong. That made me feel good, but his next comment didn't: He told me that it's important that I prepare myself physically and mentally to toughen up for the next season. I was pretty surprised at his comment and didn't really know what to say, so I just mumbled, "OK, coach." Within a few seconds, he walked away and didn't say anything else at all about exactly what he meant. Can you give me your opinion on what he was perhaps referring to? — My Coach Wants Me Tougher, via email

MY COACH WANTS ME TOUGHER: There's no doubt that technique and physical ability in sports are one thing, but physical and mental toughness absolutely play a huge role for any athlete in competitive sports. What your coach is most likely referring to on the mental side is to keep your focus and not get down when you miss a shot, make a mistake, like committing a turnover, and so forth. Part of mental toughness is keeping your head in the game at all times and not getting down on yourself for past mistakes but instead playing hard and expecting success immediately afterward.

Regarding physical toughness, this is something quite important in the sport of basketball. Most people think basketball is not a contact sport; they usually think of football when they think of a contact sport. But anyone who has played competitive basketball at the high school level or beyond knows that there's a great deal of physicality in basketball. You yourself know all about the pushing, shoving, grabbing and hammering that goes on from time to time. It's often said that in the game of basketball, the amount of true fouls that are actually called by referees is substantially below 50%, maybe as low actually as 25% to 35%.

Your coach here is using the words "physical toughness" to remind you to expect contact and uncalled fouls that you need to play through aggressively yourself. Tough basketball players play hard despite being fouled, pushed, grabbed, tripped and so forth. It appears to me, hearing about your situation from afar, that you are an excellent fundamental player who probably has a very good offensive game and is a very good shooter. Your coach is seeking to develop your physical and mental toughness so that the innate skills that you've crafted for many years can shine through during what will be a rough-and-tumble upcoming season.

THIS LADY GOT MAD AT ME AND NEVER APOLOGIZED

DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 and have been a babysitter for two little girls at the end of our street for the past several months. Last weekend when their mother came home, I didn't hear the front door open, and I was playing with the girls in their family den; we were acting out a little play.

We all had dolls in front of us, and we were walking them around and saying different lines of dialogue when the mother came up to me from behind and said in a sharp voice, "What in the world are you doing?" She started questioning me and pressed me on what kind of message I was trying to send to her kids by acting out a play with them that I had not received her advanced authorization to do.

Her voice was really mean, and that surprised me a lot, because she has always been very nice to me in the past, and I know that she trusts me. I was pretty stunned by her accusation, but just before I was about to tell her what we were doing, one of her daughters picked up one of their nursery books, opened it up and said, "Mom, we're acting out our book." The mother looked very surprised, and she took the book and looked at it, then looked at the three of us and asked us to continue. I was hesitant, of course, but the two girls immediately started acting out their parts, and I could see the mother's face change from anger to a small smile.

Anyhow, she calmed down, but she did not apologize to me. I like her little girls very much. They're very cute and sweet kids. We have a lot of fun reading their books and acting them out, and I didn't think I was doing anything wrong. Why would this mother get so angry at me so quickly for no reason? — Her Accusation Surprised Me, via email

HER ACCUSATION SURPRISED ME: You're learning a really deep and valuable lesson that almost all parents are tremendously protective of their children, some compulsively so. In that brief moment before this mother understood what was truly going on, she perhaps thought you were acting something out that you had come up with, or heard at your school, and she didn't want her young girls exposed to anything beyond what she felt was age-appropriate for them.

It's great that she calmed down quickly, but she definitely owed you an apology for using a harsh, accusatory tone toward you. Obviously, this has caused you to think about whether or not you wish to continue babysitting for this family. The good news is, the girls are innocent and had nothing to do with it, and you have an excellent relationship with these little girls, plus you take good care of them. The mother could be a handful again for you going forward, but at least you now know where she's coming from, even if she didn't properly apologize to you.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Markus Spiske at Unsplash