My Mom Is Great Except for This

By Dr. Robert Wallace

July 7, 2023 4 min read

DR. WALLACE: I have a nice mother for the most part, but there is one issue that comes between us, and it really bothers me. Whenever my mother and I disagree on some topic that relates to my life, she resorts to yelling at me.

Now, some people might say that she screams at me, but it's really just loud yelling. I've heard my mother scream during a scary movie that we watched together, so I know the difference between her yells and screams.

Anyhow, this does two things to me. First, it brings me down and makes me feel a touch depressed that we can't seem to be civil with each other and second, it causes me to walk on eggshells with my mom about most small things since I don't want to set her off.

Is there anything I can do about this? — My Mom Is Great Except for This, via email

MY MOM IS GREAT EXCEPT FOR THIS: Well, we're all human and nobody is perfect, right? Even so, I do agree that there is definitely room for improvement here.

I can tell you that from my experience that teenagers have a deep need to feel loved and appreciated, especially within their primary family unit. Instead of arguing and yelling, your mother would be helping you much more by at least occasionally praising you and giving you encouragement.

A true key to the parent/teen dynamic is open and trusting communication on a regular basis. Of course, you can direct your mother to your letter here and my reply, but also remember that it takes two to keep communication and harmony flowing smoothly. Take time to think carefully how you can help to defuse the situations (in advance) that usually trigger these outbursts.

Finally, find a good quiet time to give your mom a big hug on a weekend morning and tell her how much you love her. Ask her to join you in an effort to improve your interactions and ask her how you can make some adjustments as well that can help this situation to become vastly improved going forward.

I WANT TO LEARN A VALUABLE TRADE

DR. WALLACE: My parents want me to attend college, but I wish to attend a trade school since I'll be learning a valuable skill and within a year, I should be able to earn roughly $6,000 to $7,000 per month if I work full time.

My father kind of understands this, but my mother is really pushing me hard to attend a local university so that I can get a general college degree.

Do you think I'd be making a mistake to attend a trade school that I'm interested in? — Ready to Work, via email

READY TO WORK: No, I do not think you're making a mistake. If you have the desire, aptitude and drive to attend a trade school and successfully learn a valuable trade that is currently in demand, you're quite correct that you will have very decent earning power within a short period of time.

Let your mother know that you plan to attend this trade school and begin your career, but if anything changes your mind or causes you to rethink your original plan, you will certainly consider attending a four-year university as a backup plan.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Jordan Whitt at Unsplash

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