DR. WALLACE: I have a friend who, it seems like, needs to always be in a relationship! She is always seeking attention from someone in an effort to get into a relationship every time she bounces out of one. If she's already in a relationship, she then flirts all she can with others so that she will have "backups" at the ready if and when her existing relationship ends. And end they do! I've counted 13 "relationships" she's been in over the past 18 months. This means her average time with someone is about six weeks!

As her friend, it is exhausting to watch and never turns out well for her. How do I tell her my opinion on this situation in a caring way that will not hurt her feelings? It's kind of amazing to watch her in action since she's kind of like a cross between a social butterfly and a tornado. She's social and sociable at first, then these relationships get really stormy and volatile and then it's time for her to start the whole process all over again. — Amazed Friend Who Wants to Help, via email

AMAZED FRIEND WHO WANTS TO HELP: It's her life, not yours! That's the first fact you should keep yourself aware of. Having said that, I understand where you are coming from and that you wish to "help" your friend if possible. However, not everyone seeks or even wants help, and when they do, they usually ask for it directly.

Your best approach therefore may be to use subtle ways to bring this subject up to her. The next time she's ending a relationship, try to ask her about what type of relationship partner would be her "dream connection." See if you can get her to list the qualities she values most in another person. Don't focus on looks, hair color or any physical feature. Instead, try to draw her into a conversation about the personality traits, dreams, goals, perspectives and so forth of the type of person who she feels would be fit with her.

From there, see if you can suggest that she would likely have a much better chance at a longer-term connection if she were to take some time to seek out better overall matches versus just hopping out of one relationship right into another one.

It may be that she has a fear of being alone and that causes her to want to always have a partner. Some individuals garner their self-worth primarily through others; therefore, they feel they need to be "validated" by being in an ongoing relationship. These examples may or may not apply to your friend but do provide insights into why some people do the things they do.

It's always hard to advise and support a friend when it comes to issues like the one you've outlined. And just because you find her relationship methods unusual, she may not at all think the way you do, so be quite careful that you don't come off as judgmental if and when you do speak to her about this topic. She's kind of running her own personal "speed dating" project, and someday she may indeed hit her jackpot that would produce an ultimate validation of her methodology. To each their own! Be a supportive friend but tread lightly in doling out unsolicited advice to her if you wish to remain in the friendship.

HELP, I CAN'T SWIM IN PUBLIC IN BOXER SHORTS!

DR. WALLACE: I would like to swim at the community pool, but my mom won't buy me a bathing suit! I'm a boy who is 12 and she wants me to swim in my boxers or shorts. I don't want to do this since it would be so embarrassing!

Maybe if you agree with me, my mom might give in if I show her your answer online (if I am lucky and get you to put my question in your column). Help, Dr. Wallace! It's summertime and I want to swim with my friends! — Need Swim Trunks, via email

NEED SWIM TRUNKS: Well, you had me at "community pool"! I spent many a summer day myself swimming in a community pool in northwest Indiana growing up.

I heartily side with you on this issue. At the age of 12 you are growing into becoming a young man and boxer shorts or briefs are not appropriate for your age in a public swim setting. If finances are an issue, I have two suggestions to offer. One, you might be able to earn a small amount of money to buy swim trunks at a local discount store by doing yardwork for one of your neighbors, for example. Two, your mother might be able to find you a suitable pair of swim trunks at a secondhand store like a Goodwill or Salvation Army for a very reasonable price. Items are always washed thoroughly before they are sold in these stores and of course you can do your own extra-thorough wash at home again before you use them for the first time.

Either way I feel that you should be allowed to find a way to get the proper trunks to allow you to comfortably swim in public.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Michelle_Raponi at Pixabay