DR. WALLACE: I work for an insurance company. A certain nice guy also works there. To make a long story short, he was engaged to get married, but I convinced him to start dating me instead. That's what he did. He broke the engagement and we are now dating. I enjoy being with him, but I have no intention of marrying him.

Because of this, many females are giving me the cold shoulder and blaming me for being a "home-wrecker." I have even received an unsigned note addressed to me informing me of my new title. I admit that I encouraged the guy to go out with me and to break the engagement, but I see nothing wrong with that. After all, they weren't married. If they had been husband and wife, I would have considered him off limits. — Nameless, Cleveland, Ohio.

NAMELESS: You are not a "home-wrecker," but I can understand why some of the people who work in your office see you as predatory. Now might be a good time to ask for a transfer or, if that's not possible, look for another job. You will be a lot more comfortable — and so will a lot of people who have to see you every day.

BULLYING WARNING SIGNS

DR. WALLACE: I'm a single mother and have a 13-year-old son. For his entire life, he was an outgoing young man who seemed to enjoy life. In the past month he has been very sullen and says that he wants to move in with his father and stepmother. I won't allow that. I'm the only parent who will shape his life. A friend of mine said it is possible he is being bullied at school. Before I ask him about this, I'd like to know some signs that a child is being bullied. I will be forever grateful if you can enlighten me. — Mom, Moline, Ill.

MOM: Last summer I attended a seminar on bullying. I rechecked my notes and found eight warning signs that parents should be aware of. These should be informative for you:

A child may be being bullied if he or she:

1. Comes home from school with torn, damaged, or missing clothing, books or belongings.

2. Seems isolated from peers and may not have a good friend with whom to spend time.

3. Appears to be fearful about attending school, walking to and from school or riding the school bus.

4. Has poor appetite, headaches or stomach pains (particularly in the morning).

5. Asks for or takes extra money from family.

6. Appears anxious, distressed, unhappy, depressed or fearful when he or she comes home from school.

7. Shows unexpected mood shifts, irritability or sudden outbursts of temper.

8. May lose interest in schoolwork and experiences a decline in academic performance.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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