DR. WALLACE: I'm a teenage girl in high school, and I live alone with my single mother. My father divorced her about six years ago, took off across the country, got remarried and never contacted either one of us again.

My mom is a great provider and works hard at her job, and I've been able to have everything I need as a normal high school student. I love my mom tremendously and respect her very much, but there's a secret thing I feel that I've never said anything to her about: At times my mom will do some things, particularly on the weekends, that I can't help but be judgmental about. She's not doing anything wrong or unethical, but some of the decisions she makes cause me to raise my eyebrows, and I then start to feel judgmental about some of the things she does or does not do.

I would never voice these opinions to her directly because I would never want to upset her or challenge her, so this is why I'm asking you your opinion on this matter. Am I a bad person for feeling judgmental about some of the things my mother chooses to do and not to do these days? — I Feel Bad When I Get Judgmental, via email

I FEEL BAD WHEN I GET JUDGMENTAL: From the tone of your letter, I can tell that you're not becoming judgmental in a mean-spirited way or due to any major conflict with your mother. Apparently it's just happening because through your eyes you feel you would be making different decisions than those your mother elects to make at this stage of her life.

I don't feel slipping into judgmental mode makes you a bad person at all; you're simply relying on extrapolating your own personal life experiences and then overlaying those upon your mother as you see her. Don't forget that she is not from the same generation as you, and her collective life experiences have been vastly different and much more numerous than those you have gone through up to this point in your life.

Therefore, when you start to feel judgmental in a way you wish you could avoid, simply say to yourself silently in your mind that you don't have all of the facts, and your mother's life experiences are likely dictating some of the things that she presently does or does not do. This should help to keep your perspective more balanced, and you'll therefore feel better about yourself and also cognizant of cutting your mother some slack since you don't know everything that goes into her current decision-making.

I THINK PERSONALITY TYPES MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN LOVE!

DR. WALLACE: I broke up with my boyfriend of over six months just before the end of the school year because I decided I wanted to have a fresh start this summer. Our relationship had grown very stale, even when it was only three months old, and I sort of hung in there till the end of the school year, even though I wasn't enjoying that situation all that much.

Now I've been dating a new guy for the past month, and I can't believe what a breath of fresh air this new relationship is! This first month has been absolutely a blast. We've had a lot of fun together at some great outings, and the combination of his friends and mine have been really fun when we've all gotten together and spent time as a group. Last night, I took a few moments to think back on what the first month was like in my previous relationship, and although it was good, it was a far cry from the first month I've just shared with my new guy.

The guy I broke up with is a very nice and solid person, but there is literally no comparison to how connected I feel to this new guy versus my ex. Is it true that certain personality types mesh much, much better in romantic relationships than others? — It's Like Night and Day, via email

IT'S LIKE NIGHT AND DAY: The only thing certain when it comes to romantic relationships is that anything can happen. We've all seen those relationships where complete opposites seemingly attract and do very well together. We've also seen couples that got off to a great start, and we expected them to be together forever only to see things go off the rails quickly and unexpectedly.

I'm happy for you that you're off to a good start in your new relationship. My advice would be not to compare past relationships with new ones but to instead focus on learning and developing your interpersonal skills in each relationship as you go forward. It is true that some personality types seemingly mesh better than others, but by no means is any particular personality type disqualifying when it comes to love and attraction.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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