DR. WALLACE: My older brother is heading off to college this fall and he's attending a school out of state. It's a school that is 600 miles away from our family home. I'm a girl who's the middle sibling, and I also have a younger brother who is two years younger than I am; he's 13.

Last night at our family dinner, my older brother "announced" to my father, to my younger brother, and me that he is going to be taking our family dog with him to college this fall because he found an apartment that takes pets. He's also going to that college with his best friend, so he already has a roommate set up.

Four years ago, my mom and dad let us go to the local animal shelter and pick out a dog for our family. This is the dog he is talking about, and just because he walked him more than the rest of us and he would sometimes take the dog in his car to go hiking, he seems to think it's his dog entirely!

My father told him that the dog is a family dog, and his two younger siblings deserve to be able to see the dog on a daily basis. My brother became outraged and started yelling at all of us. Both my little brother and I love this dog, and we want the dog to stay in our family home. My father said he would think about it, but I can already tell by the way he was talking my dad is leaning towards keeping the dog at our family home and not letting my brother take him away.

Who do you think is right here and why? — He Wants to Take Our Family Dog Away, via email

HE WANTS TO TAKE OUR FAMILY DOG AWAY: If it were my decision to make, I would side with the way your father is already leaning. Four years ago, all three of you siblings were granted equal access to the family dog; this dog belongs to the family, not to any one individual in my opinion.

Yes, as the eldest sibling with a driver's license, your big brother was able to do things with the dog that you and your younger brother could not. However, that does not demean or slight your love and concern for the dog in any manner.

If this family dog is such a high priority to your brother in his life, he still has time to consider attending a school closer to home this fall, so that he can see the family dog more regularly.

MY FATHER DENIES MY REQUESTS WITH CRYPTIC SAYINGS

DR. WALLACE: I'm a 16-year-old girl, and I have to admit I have really good parents. However, there is one thing about my father that I wish I could change. I'll start by telling you that he is protective, nurturing and affectionate to all of his children, including me.

However, several times when I bring ideas to him or ask him to do something special, he'll often use the same line on me. He says, "Patience, your time will come." He actually says this line to me rather than just telling me "No" to whatever I'm requesting at the moment. This is, of course, frustrating for me, and whenever I hear the word "patience" come out of his mouth, I already know the next words he's going to say, and I already know the answer to my request is negative.

Why do you think my father delivers bad news to me this way instead of just telling me more directly I can't do something? — Being Patient is Not My Strength, via email

BEING PATIENT IS NOT MY STRENGTH: Well, you did say yourself that your father was nurturing, so to me this is an example of that philosophy in real time. He likely feels it is more nurturing, compassionate and better for you to hear the answer you don't want to receive in this matter rather than a condescending, quick negative reply.

In my view, he's also explaining to you indirectly that you're getting closer to the time he will actually say yes to these requests you're making, as you grow, develop and mature. Parents kind of have a special sense about when their children are emotionally and physically equipped to handle certain situations on their own.

The good news for you here is that with each passing day, you're growing closer and closer to beginning to start to hear your first of what will eventually be many positive replies from your wise father.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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