DR. WALLACE: I am finally starting to date again after being in a yearlong relationship. I'm a teen girl who just finished my junior year of high school, and so far this summer I've attended a few social events and met some guys that I find interesting.

It is really fun and exciting, but I also feel really uneasy and stressed about it. When my last relationship ended, it was a very tough and messy breakup for a lot of reasons, but the best part of all this drama is that now it is over once and for all.

Due to the hard breakup and drama, I'm now feeling like I can't fully commit to a relationship going forward because of that. I am also worried about how I could trust someone else again after what happened with the last relationship.

How can I learn to be more trusting and open to a new relationship? I know logically that I should be able to jump back into the dating game with no regrets or rules to hold me back, but this little voice in the back of my mind makes me worry about further future problems. How should I move ahead knowing this? — Worried About a Messy Repeat, via email

WORRIED ABOUT A MESSY REPEAT: Each relationship helps to provide experience and learning, especially at your current age. I suggest that you think back to the early stages of your past relationship and think carefully if there might have been some warning signs that you either ignored or actively chose to overlook in your zeal to begin dating someone regularly.

The best way to ease your mind going forward is to be quite selective in finding a person to steadily date and get increasingly involved with. It's great and even wise to date a few people casually once or twice and then to move on when you notice traits, situational awkwardness or incompatibility at an early stage.

Of course, no method is foolproof, but the chances are that you can steadily do a better and better job of finding compatible relationship partners as you progress through your late teen years into your 20s and beyond. Don't let your past experiences dampen your enthusiasm to date someone new but do let them guide you to continually become more observant and detail oriented before you proceed from casual dates into a more long-term relationship.

I WANT TO GROW MY OWN

DR. WALLACE: I'm old enough to purchase marijuana products and I live in a state that sells them; however, the prices are kind of high. I was talking with a close friend of mine, and we came up with the idea of growing some weed in the backyard of my mom's house since I live here and can keep an eye on them.

My mom overheard me talking about this and now she forbids me from growing any type of marijuana on her property. I think this is stupid since she already lets me grow carrots and tomatoes in the backyard and I'm actually a pretty good gardener. She often has told me I have a "green thumb," so now I want to use my skills to save some money on weed.

Since weed is legal in my state, don't you feel that my mother is being unreasonable? — Want to Expand My Garden Variety, via email

WANT TO EXPAND MY GARDEN VARIETY: I side entirely with your mother on this one. First, it's her house and her property, so her rules should be paramount.

Second, growing cannabis remains illegal in some states, and since you didn't mention your specific state of residence, I can't advise you further. California does allow a small amount of growing for adults over 21, but I believe the plants must be grown indoors and not visible from the street.

Third, if you were to grow these plants in your mother's backyard against her wishes, you could expose your residence to potential theft of the plants anyhow. Even some of the legal marijuana dispensaries are robbed at gunpoint. Therefore, I do not advise you to proceed further, especially since your mother has said no. If and when you move out someday to live at your own place, you can then study the local laws and consider your idea. However, I still would advise you to carefully follow all local laws and to keep your mouth shut as to what you are up to.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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