DR. WALLACE: School is now out, and my mom just told me I have to watch my younger sister all summer because my mom works full time, and we don't have the money for day care for my sister. This means it's like I have to be her nanny all summer!

I'm now 16 and she's only 11, so we don't have too much in common since she's so young. She's a good little sister, but I also view her as an anchor! It's like I'm anchored to our house all day until mom gets home around 4:30 p.m.

I want to do stuff with my friends like go to the mall and to the movies or even our public pool, but I can't. None of my friends have to stay home with their younger siblings, so what can I do in this situation? — Anchored at Home All Summer, via email

ANCHORED AT HOME ALL SUMMER: Your family is in a different situation than your friends' families are. Your family truly needs your most valuable assistance at this time.

My suggestion for you is to plan most of your social activities for the weekends and after 4:30 p.m. when your mother is home to take direct care of your younger sister. Ask your mother if she can allow you a little more flexibility in the evenings and weekends for your social schedule.

I trust she very much appreciates what you are doing for your younger sister, so it's entirely logical that she will allow you some flexibility once she is present in the home after her work shifts end.

Sometimes life isn't fair, or does not appear to be fair, but you are providing an important role in your younger sister's life at this time: to both look out for her and to socialize with her while your mother is at work. Be as creative as you can in coming up with some fun activities you can do together with your little sister. I'm sure you can have some fun times and create an even stronger bond with her than you already have.

Remember, she'll be looking up to you her entire life, and it won't be long until the two of you are adults and have much more in common than you currently have today.

I'VE HAD ENOUGH VIOLIN LESSONS!

DR. WALLACE: I don't want to play the violin anymore. I know that I'm lucky that my parents can afford to pay for these lessons in the first place. I've been taking lessons for over two years now and I'm a decent, but not spectacular violin player.

I feel really burned out with this instrument and would like to do something else with my time. I'm hesitant to say anything because my father always brags to our family friends and relatives about what a virtuoso he thinks I am.

How do I tell my father that I want to permanently retire from violin lessons? I already know he will be very disappointed to hear this. — Not a Virtuoso, via email

NOT A VIRTUOSO: I can appreciate where you are coming from. Many parents who encourage their children to take music lessons also take great pride in telling others about the capabilities of their children when it comes to musical instruments.

The fact you've been at it for over two years tells me that you've given it more than enough time to decide whether it's something you truly enjoy and wish to continue. At this point in your life, it's obvious that you need a break from these lessons.

I suggest that you do not use the word "permanent" when you explain this to your father, but instead explain that you would like to take a break for a period of time. You might be able to use the summer as a jumping-off point for this. Do not commit to a restart date; instead, I encourage you to say that you will consider the instrument again in the future but that you're not sure at this point how you'll feel about it going forward. And this last statement is indeed true, as the way you feel today may not be how you feel in six months, or even a year or two. The good news is you can always resume these lessons anytime in your life since you have more than a workable understanding of how to play this instrument.

Yes, your father will be disappointed in the short term, but perhaps you can take up some other activity that you enjoy and that he can similarly benefit from his obvious pride in your achievements.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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