DR. WALLACE: I'm 17 and the guy I'm dating is 19. He has a full-time job and works from 8:00 a.m. until 4:00 p.m. He shares an apartment with an older brother who works for the same company from 4:00 p.m. until midnight. They only see each other on the weekend. My parents like my boyfriend. He comes over to our house to see me and is treated like a part of our family.

My problem is that I am never allowed to be in his apartment, not even for a minute. I don't understand this rule because they say that they trust him, yet they don't want me to visit his apartment. This guy is a super human being. He is kind, gentle and compassionate and I love him to pieces. I have never done anything to cause my parents not to trust me. My boyfriend and I are not sexually active. There are times that we would like to be alone to watch television, watch a video or just listen to music and talk. If we wanted to have sex, all we would have to do is rent a motel room.

When I ask my parents why I can't spend some time alone with my boyfriend in his apartment, all they ever say is, "We just don't think it's a good idea." After all, I could sneak into his apartment and my parents would not find out, but I'm not that kind of a daughter.

Why do you believe my parents won't trust me? There have been occasions when my boyfriend and I have been in my house alone and my parents were not concerned. — Nameless, Miami, Fla.

NAMELESS: I would think that the great majority of caring parents would also balk at having their 17-year-old daughter spend an evening in her boyfriend's apartment. Even though nothing sexual might happen, parents do not want to tempt fate.

TEEN DRUG AND ALCOHOL STATISTICS

TEENS: Eighty-eight percent of America's 16 to 18-year-olds who responded to a Careers and Colleges magazine poll said that alcohol and drug abuse are problems among students who attend their schools. The teens polled were high school 11th and 12th graders attending both private and public schools across the United States.

Seventy-eight percent said their peers have drug problems and 47 percent said students buy drugs from students at their school. It's even easier for teens to buy drugs than it is for them to buy alcohol, but not by much. Eighty-two percent of the teens surveyed said that students can easily obtain drugs in their communities, while 80 percent said minors can easily purchase alcohol.

When it comes time to party, alcohol is in. Seventy-eight percent say alcohol is available at parties they attend and 47 percent said drugs are available. Sixty-nine percent said they know someone who had or has a drug problem.

This survey underscores the enormous need teens have for guidance. Drugs and alcohol have become commonplace — indeed popular — among many high school students, yet only 45 percent of the teens polled said their schools offer substance abuse counseling programs. In their survey comments, many spoke frankly about the impact of peer pressure, the most powerful of all teen pressures.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Rob Bertholf