DR. WALLACE: My older brother is 20 and a college student. He lives at home with our family and recently, my father helped him with the down payment for a used car from a local auto lot.

The deal was that my father helped set him up and my brother's job was going to provide the income to make the monthly payments on the remaining balance he needed to cover to purchase the vehicle over 30 months.

But yesterday, a company came and seized the car overnight and towed it out of our neighborhood! My father found out that my brother was behind on the payments, so the car was repossessed, pending his clearing the outstanding payments plus interest to make the loan current.

My brother claims he needs that car to attend the three classes he's taking at a local junior college, but he also has to drive to a job that apparently he's not using that money from to make the car payments. Now my dad and brother are in a constant state of arguing, as my brother feels my dad should loan him the family car at this time until he can get enough money to get his own car back. My father told him that he had his chance and he needs to be deserving of borrowing the family car and that his actions do not demonstrate that.

So far, I've stayed away from their heated discussions, but I'm curious to ask you your opinion of this situation. Should my brother be allowed to borrow the family car to get to junior college classes and to work until he can make up the payments he missed? — Ringside for Family Drama, via email

RINGSIDE FOR FAMILY DRAMA: I side with your father based on the facts in your letter. Your dad already stepped up to help your brother once and your brother did not take making the payments on his vehicle seriously.

If he knew he was falling behind on the payments, he could've gone to your father in advance and sat down and tried to work something out, but he did not. Your brother is now an adult, and he needs to be treated as one. That means allowing him to sort out his own problems this time on his own, especially since he was already given a helping hand at the inception of him requiring the vehicle in the first place.

I JUST BLEW A GREAT OPPORTUNITY THAT WAS THERE FOR ME

DR. WALLACE: I'm 17 and a girl who's a junior in high school. I'm between boyfriends at the moment, but I'm confident I'll be able to find a new one this summer since I have a lot of fun activities planned that will put me in wide circulation.

Yesterday at school, a cute guy asked me near the quad at lunchtime if I wanted to dance! I was so stunned that I didn't really know what to say, so I just stared at him blankly for a few moments and then quietly said, "No thanks" because I realized I would feel embarrassed if we were dancing alone in front of the entire school. Immediately responded to me, "That's fine, no problem," and within moments, he walked a little further down the quad, found another girl similar to me and he asked her!

She accepted and the two of them began dancing in the quad! A crowd gathered around and I heard some other girls making comments about how adorable it was that they were dancing together. One of the girls on the sideline yelled to him, "Why are you guys dancing?" and he said, "To celebrate that the school year is almost over!" The other girls began clapping and when they finished the dance, he was literally hugging this girl and they walked off together, both beaming and seemingly really into each other!

I now feel like I missed a huge opportunity and I'm starting to wonder if my personality is wound too tightly. What can I do to get over this? I can't stop thinking about it. — I Missed a Huge Opportunity, via email

I MISSED A HUGE OPPORTUNITY: Lighten up on yourself and most importantly, forgive yourself. Sometimes when we are caught off guard, we don't have time to think through all the permutations of a question, a pending event or something in the moment.

Your mental response was logical on one level, but it entirely closed the door on an opportunity that was there for you in a relatively safe environment. The best thing you can do now is to realize that you've learned a valuable lesson. I'm certainly not saying that you should accept every future invitation that ever comes your way again, because your personal safety could be at risk in some circumstances, depending on where you are and who you're engaging with. But in a safe and benign environment, you now know mentally to give yourself more leeway and not to worry about the potential of temporary embarrassment.

And if you still have a few days left in the school year, you can go up to this guy who invited you to dance and politely tell him that you were quite caught off guard the first time, but if he were ever to ask you to dance again in the future, you'd readily accept!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Usman Malik at Unsplash