DR. WALLACE: I had an unfortunate experience recently, one that any teen girl like me would not want to experience. I actually overheard my divorced parents talking last week when my dad was dropping me off at my mom's. I think they were discussing something "unplanned," and they had a bit of a heated exchange of words. I couldn't hear everything, but the bits I thought I heard didn't sound too good. Once I heard the word "unplanned," I kind of went into a mini state of shock, since it made me think maybe my birth was unplanned. Most of the rest of their conversation (in hushed tones) sounded only like crackles and pops in my worried mind.

I'm 16, and I actually do want to know if I was a "mistake." Should I ask my mother or my father if I was an accident? — Accidentally Overheard Them, via email

ACCIDENTALLY OVERHEARD THEM: Whether or not you were planned in advance or a wonderful surprise gift is truly not important.

Trust me, you were not a mistake at all! You are a wonderful, sensitive, valuable young lady. I trust your parents both love you very much. You've been raised by them, and you are a big part of your family.

Your parents have kept you safe and sound for all 16 years of your life. Nothing good will come of directly asking your parents a question about this issue. Remember, by your own admission, you only heard a fraction of the conversation, so it's possible they were discussing a different topic entirely, one that had nothing to do with you.

If you would like to know how your parents feel about you now, give each one (when you're with them and in their respective homes) a big hug and say, "I love you. Do you love me?" I trust you'll get a very warm and positive reply that should put your mind at ease.

I've received many letters over the years that referenced partially overheard, "troubling" conversations that, in reality, were not even close to the "troubling" topic.

NOT INVITED TO STEPCHILD'S WEDDING

DR. WALLACE: I'm a stepchild, and my step-aunt is getting married in three weeks in the next town over, but I'm not invited to the wedding!

Everyone else in the family was invited except me, it seems. This really hurts my feelings, but right now I'm not sure there's anything I can do about being snubbed like this.

When I asked why I wasn't invited, I got an answer that made my blood boil! I was literally told that I'm "not a blood relative" and that they only invited blood relatives and their immediate families. What do I do about this? — Not Invited and Not Happy, via email

NOT INVITED AND NOT HAPPY: It is your step-aunt's wedding, and she can invite whomever she likes, but in my opinion, she's making a big mistake. You are a part of her extended family, and since you have a true interest in attending this ceremony, I feel it's worth a different try.

I suggest you explain your sincere interest in attending to an adult relative who is close to your step-aunt. Explain that you're very excited for her and you would cherish the opportunity to attend this special family ceremony.

I'm not suggesting you'll automatically receive the positive answer you desire, but this will be your best shot. If you wish to increase your odds a bit more, purchase (or make) a card to express your congratulations and write a heartfelt note inside. Give this card to the trusted adult who will "pitch" your request for you. Even if you don't receive an invitation, you'll have made a very nice gesture toward a member of your stepfamily, and that is always a very good thing. Don't forget that there will likely be other family weddings at some point, so I trust your odds will increase going forward.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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